I was going to blog today about the huge disappointment that was last night.  It would be my side of the story, complete with whining and complaining.  I was going to tell how the last 24 hours was supposed to be refreshing and rejuvenating, and instead ended up being even more exhausting and demanding than usual.  

I know…boo hoo.  Poor me.  Someone get the tissues. 

Still, that’s what I was going to write.  I was going to run down my litany of complaints.  And I was going to excuse it all with the title: “The Honest Truth”.  It didn’t matter if I painted unflattering portraits of my family or vented angrily about the “trials” of my life.  It wouldn’t even matter if it wasn’t “true” exactly, but it would be honest.  So it would be okay…right?

I thought so…until very quietly, the still small Voice whispered quietly, How about “The Ugly Truth” instead? 

And that stopped me cold.  The post I had planned wouldn’t just paint a picture of the unfortunate turn of events that transpired at my house last night.  Even more clearly, it would paint a picture of ME.  And what sort of me?  An Ugly me.

A sad and discouraged me, for sure.  But worse that that, an unloving and hard-hearted me.  My frustration.  My lack of grace in the face of unexpected change.  A heart that dealt with hurt by lashing out at others.  It wouldn’t be pretty.  Even if it was “honest.” 

So I didn’t write that post.  The circumstances were unfortunate.  My disappointment, very real.  But the events of last night cannot be changed by a sad and semi-peeved blog post.  So I’m choosing to let them go.

I’m still exhausted and overwhelmed.  I still don’t understand why the so-rare opportunity to get away for an evening had to evaporate before my very eyes 15 minutes before I was supposed to leave.  I still have some tears to cry.  I still can’t say that God is a better source of refreshment for me (though that is probably true, if I’d just spend more time with Him.)  And I still am not ready to have my kids up from naps this afternoon.

But the honest truth is that last night is done, and we will all survive.  In comparison to the trials of some good friends and loved ones, my “sufferings” are not very great at all.  And yet God will use even these little things to wash away my ugliness so that He can recreate me in His image.  Which is lovely, indeed.