{"id":575,"date":"2008-06-25T07:47:35","date_gmt":"2008-06-25T07:47:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/10.131.168.108\/wordpress\/?p=575"},"modified":"2008-06-25T07:47:35","modified_gmt":"2008-06-25T07:47:35","slug":"575","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/2008\/06\/25\/575\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

What time I am afraid…<\/span><\/p>\n

When David got there, he said he would trust in God.  When I get there…well, it’s much more hit or miss.  It was kind of a rough night.  Still not sure why.  But I was pretty much up from 3-5 this morning for a variety of reasons.  Mostly because my brain turned on.  And as I’ve said before, having that happen, at that time of day, is seriously problematic for me.<\/p>\n

Surprisingly, what I do in those moments has changed somewhat.  I used to worry.  About everything.  Now it’s not so much worry as fear.  I’m afraid.  But it’s all a “what if” kind of fear.  What if “this” happens in the morning?  What if “this” doesn’t happen?  What if I do “this”?  What if I don’t?  What if?  What if?  What if?<\/p>\n

I know that these moments are a bit cyclical.  I am gradually learning to trust and bring my fears to Jesus immediately, so for a while, we’ll do great.  But then it’ll sneak up on me, and unprepared for the attack, I find myself back to the knot-in-my-stomach fear that has kept me locked up into selfish, un-Christlike thought patterns and behaviors for many years.  So what do I do on those nights?  <\/p>\n

David’s verse doesn’t help me very much on those nights…I barely understand the concept of trusting God when I’m super-coherent.  It’s way too vague at 3:00 am.  But another verse is my life-line: Is. 41:10.<\/p>\n

Do not be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (NIV)<\/span>

I love that verse.  The Spirit speaks to me, “Shannah, don’t be afraid.  I AM is with you.  Keep your eyes on Him because nothing that happens is beyond his control.  So you don’t have to fear any “what ifs”.<\/p>\n

The NAS translates that second part as “Do not anxiously look about you.”  That, I understand.  That phrase makes a lot more sense to me than “don’t be dismayed.”  But, of course, the reason, is still the same…I AM is my God.  He will provide strength, help, support, victory in any situation or circumstance I find myself in.  <\/p>\n

What a promise!  What a God!  I AM…Jehovah…the covenant God of Israel is with me.  In the midst of my fear, my worry, my circumstance, I am not alone.  And my companion controls the universe.  Looking at him, I have found, is the only way to stop the cycle of fear.  I may have to do it over and over until my sin habits get the hint and leave me to fall asleep.  But a change in perspective is the only sure-fire cure that I have found for fear.<\/p>\n

________<\/p>\n

Okay, thanks for listening to my ramblings this morning.  I just needed to get some of that out of my head so I could get started on my day.  The day should be fun: a trip to the mall with Karen.  I’ll try to post pictures of any cute maternity clothes we find.  Then, given my early morning, I’ll probably crash for the afternoon.  Should be a good day!  Happy Wednesday!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What time I am afraid… When David got there, he said he would trust in God.  When I get there…well, it’s much more hit or miss.  It was kind of a rough night.  Still not sure why.  But I was … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-575","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=575"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=575"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elhogue.com\/shannah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}