That’s been my week, pretty much. I’ve had a week-long, self-centered, pity party for myself. <\/p>\n
I’ve been discouraged, and I’m tired. Spending last weekend with my parents was really good, but I came home totally spent, and then had to start the week trying to dig myself out of a hole. And the babies aren’t sleeping very well again this week, so I’m really worn out. I’m finding myself getting easily cranky about small things. It’s not fun to be around myself…I don’t know how Eric is putting up with me.<\/p>\n
I know what brought most of this to a head, though. On Wednesday, a friend from college stopped by for a few hours. It was great to see her and chat. And she had her 5 week old with her, whom I hadn’t seen yet. Unfortunately, I realized later that spending that time with her, both of us dealing with our little ones, was eye-opening for me. It was the first time I actually could compare the amount of work one takes with the amount of work that two takes. And forgive me for saying this, but two is a lot harder. Her son is already 11 lbs., so he can sleep longer than my 12 week olds can. She can keep him awake after feeding to encourage a schedule. He eats and she puts him down to sleep and then walks away for a while. None of that is true for me. The reality hit me hard and discouraged me. And it’s been hard to shake the self-pity that resulted from her visit. But I am trying to correct my attitude. I know that much of this is because my time with Jesus has been hit-or-miss for months (about 2 and a half, to be exact). I know that I’m not walking in the Spirit because I’m totally fulfilling the lusts of my flesh (i.e., self pity). Instead of love, I’m annoyed with people. Instead of joy, I’m discouraged and cranky. Instead of peace, I’m anxious and easily upset. <\/p>\n I want my mental stability back. I want to sleep again (though that doesn’t have anything to do with not being Spirit-led). So, here’s my question for you mommies out there. How do you manage to get your “devotions” in? What works for you: a book, certain reading schedules, something else? I need some advice so I can start to kick these bad mental\/spiritual habits I’ve gotten into…thanks! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" That’s been my week, pretty much. I’ve had a week-long, self-centered, pity party for myself. I’ve been discouraged, and I’m tired. Spending last weekend with my parents was really good, but I came home totally spent, and then had to … Continue reading
EDIT: Of course, I don’t mean to imply that one is not hard. It is. And having more kids, one at a time or otherwise, is also crazy hard. So to all the mommies out there, I know you know what I’m feeling and thanks for all the encouragement! END EDIT<\/span><\/p>\n