Day 10: Truth

Posted on October 10, 2014 by Shannah

“The best you can do is always enough.”

I said it this morning to my oldest daughter, my mini-me, my budding perfectionist. She had tied her own shoe (correctly). Was it right? she wanted to know. Was it good enough?

Yes, Erin. Your best is always good enough. I sent her for the other shoe. I said, “Do you know why your best is always enough?” No.

“Because God is always more than enough. Just do the best you can, don’t expect perfect, because He will always fill in all the places where we aren’t enough.”

I’m trying to teach her. I’m trying to teach me. I don’t have to be or do or act perfect. I just have to do my best, offer my best, and then let it go so that God can use it however He wants. My best is just rags. But He wants them anyway. Because He can fill up my “rags” with His own righteousness and then, amazingly, use them to further His plan, His glory. He wants me to co-create with Him. Just my crayon scribbles, but He can make them a masterpiece. Such grace.

So I want her to hear it. To get it. Long before her hard-headed momma has, so I said to her again, “Your best is…” She said, “..to try!”

I said, “Your best is…” She said, “to learn!”

I said, “Your best is always enough. Because God is always more than enough.”

We’ll learn it together, Erin-girl. We’ll just keep learning it together.

Day 9: Perspective

Posted on October 9, 2014 by Shannah

So I read a book recently called 30 Days of Praise for Parents by Becky Harling. I actually got to read it as a manuscript (I’m a freelance proofreader for a publishing company), but it’s on Amazon now, so you can read it, too.

I was really challenged by this book. I didn’t read it for the information (I was looking for spelling errors at the time), but the premise of the book is to commit to praise God for your kids for 30 days (check out Becky Harling’s website for her story and how the 30-day praise challenge changed her life), and the book give 30 different things to pray for, one for each day. Honestly I don’t remember most of them. But a couple of the ideas really stuck out to me.

And both of those days had to do with perspective. One had to do with praising God for who your child is…even (and especially) for the qualities or characteristics that just drive you nuts. This struck me. Praising God for a child’s anger or stubbornness or whatever? Really? But when I tried it, it changed my view of my own kids. I really do l one who they are, ALL of who they are. And praising for the parts of them that are challenging forces me to accept that part of them and find a new perspective on it. That stubbornness? Well, someday, maybe he’ll be stubborn enough to stand for his faith when others are making fun of him. And that anger? Maybe she will learn to be angry for justice and making a difference in the lives of people. God can USE those qualities. Much as I want to sometimes, I can’t pray that they go away…I have to pray that my kids (and I) submit to God’s ability to use those aspects of their character.

The other idea that stood out to me was to praise Jesus for what He’s doing in my kids’ lives. Not just asking Him to help me where I’m trying to work with them. But to step back and let Him have first go and praise Him for whatever He’s doing in their lives, even if it’s not what I think is “most important.” That was a big perspective shift for me, too.

I’m finding these ideas particularly valuable with the twins in Kindergarten. That hasn’t been an entirely easy transition. But remembering to praise God for my two (all four, really) and how He’s growing them in these days, makes a huge difference in my ability to respond to them creatively and helpfully.

So I do recommend this book (or you might start with the first book The 30-Day Praise Challenge, though I haven’t read that one). It’s always fun to see how God will change our perspectives. And it’s good for us, too!

Day 8: Mo Willems

Posted on October 8, 2014 by Shannah

My slightly wet little boy (he was spraying himself with a spray bottle of water he found) just brought me an Elephant and Piggie book to read. Reading a Mo Willems book was actually more important than a spray bottle. Clearly, this proves Mo Willems is a children’s book genius.

But seriously, my kids love Mo Willems’s book. All of them. Timmy is totally fascinated right now. He loves Elephant and Piggie. He loves the Pigeon. He wants me to read them to him and then he gets mad when I finish the book. Actually ticked at me for getting to the end.

I seriously think Mo Willems is one of the best kids writers out right now. His books have a perfect blend of characters, plot, age-appropriate writing, and humor (they’re fun for adults to read, too). They are great books for early readers. My kids memorize the words (Megan “read” one of them to Timmy today). Timmy loves the characters and the actions.

Seriously, Mo Willems is a really great writer. If you haven’t already, introduce your kids to his crazy world!

Day 7: Megan

Posted on October 8, 2014 by Shannah

So this is an easy one. Today, Megan turned 4 years old. She’s a spunky, full of life little thing who adds adventure and charm to our family. She will find any dirt or sandbox or mud puddle within a 2 mile radius and happily splash and squoosh and smear it all over herself. There is no such thing as keeping her shirts clean.

But she is funny. Witty, even. By the time she’s a teenager, she’ll have a wicked grasp of humor and sarcasm and, well, wit. For now, the tiny seeds are visible, and I’m trying not to train her too early towards my own (at times) lack of tact.

She is loving having the twins in school now, despite the summer’s meltdowns over the coming change. We play games. We cook together. She loves to point that “she’s the only kid” so she gets to do [fill in the blank]. Obviously, Timmy is completely discounted from her equation there, but she is right that I’m not going to let him dump the flour into the bowl. So as usual, she’s pretty much right!

Megan is hard to capture in words. And she’s a pusher. She grabs everything by the horns and will NOT let go. She is stubborn. She is strong-willed. She is smart. OH.MY.WORD. Smart. But she’s a snuggler. A needer of verbal affirmation. A tender-hearted little thing who just colors our world with wonder.

Happy Birthday, Megan. You are truly one of a kind.

Day 6: Foundations

Posted on October 6, 2014 by Shannah

(Sadly, I missed Day 5’s post. Oh well. Onward to Day 6.)

Narrowing down my topic to one thing was really hard today. I’m pulled in a hundred directions. I have thirteen chores clamoring for my attention even as I write this post. I should go clean up the kitchen. I need to bake a birthday cake. I’ve been skipping between things for hours now, remembering another thing I need to do, getting interrupted on my way to do it, and re-remembering it fifteen minutes (and five other jobs) later.

It might help if I prioritized myself. If I knew where to start, the other things may just fall into place.

That’s the reason there are concrete trucks driving in and out my driveway today. They are pouring the walls for the basement of our new house. The forms are finished and are being filled, and when they are removed, we will have the basics of a house.

It’s been amazing to watch them. The hollow forms placed in exact places, measured and re-measured, because once this concrete cures…that’s it. Changing it will require lots of manpower (and money!). So once the walls are set, that’s our basement. That’s our house.

Everything is determined by the foundation.

Same for me, I suspect. My craziness runs rampant because, so many days, I lack a clear and firm foundation. I have only a vague starting point, and so I flutter from thing to thing. The “house” I build is sketchy at best (and down right unstable at worst) because I don’t have a clear foundation for my day.

So here is my reminder to myself: Go back to the beginning. Just like Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride, “Fezzini say, ‘Go back to the beginning.'” And for me, the morning began with this verse:

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. (2 Thess. 3:5 ESV)

That is where I’m going this afternoon, to direct my heart – to send it back to – the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ. He is love. I am loved. He will never change. He will never leave me. My to-do list is not the defining value of my day. What I don’t get done can be addressed later or tomorrow. What matters is settling onto the foundation of eternal value and building from there.

So, here’s to a renewed vision for the afternoon. A chance to refocus, re-direct, myself to a sure foundation in Christ. And from there to work as He leads to build a house, a day, that pleases Him.

Day 4: Apples

Posted on October 4, 2014 by Shannah

It’s apple season!

We live right next door to an orchard (a large one), and they’ve been harvesting for weeks now, large crates full of apples stacked everywhere. So in honor of apple season, here are some random things I’ve learned about apples.

1. According to Grandpa Hogue (who passed away in March), Ginger Gold is the very best applesauce apple.

2. According to me, a mix of tart and sweet apples makes the best applesauce. (Grandpa preferred his very, very sweet!)

3. They have amazing machines at an orchard for sorting out apples. One machine looks like a vertical conveyer belt with ledges; it can be set it to sort out just the Grade A apples. Or just the cider apples. It’s really cool. The apples can ride up and drop out onto a horizontal belt or be carried right back into storage for another sort later.

4. Honeycrisp apples are a northern apple. They grow best in cooler places (like Wisconsin). Our orchard grows them, but they can’t really sell them to their distributers because they won’t turn the bright red that the stores want to see. Our orchard’s apples stay a yellow-red mix because it gets just a bit too warm for them here in Ohio. Oh, and they take A LOT of extra work and money to grow (more spraying -on a non-organic farm, more tending, more harvesting, more manpower), so that’s why they’re so expensive. In case you ever wondered.

5. Apple trees have to be pruned starting right after harvest in order to produce well again the following year. But it has to be done very carefully. You have to know exactly what to do or you’ll cut off the places where your apples would have grown. Not a good scenario for an orchard!

6. Every year or two, they will pull out a bunch of trees. As in a dozen or more at once. There will just be a long row of uprooted trees lying on the ground. It looks wrong somehow, but an old tree won’t produce as much fruit, I guess. So they make sure to plant new and remove the old to keep a good rotation.

7. Deer are permitted to be shot on an orchard year round. So even though I live out in the boondocks surrounded by trees, I never see deer because we’re so close to the orchard.

8. And finally, here is the very best applesauce you will ever taste, courtesy of Grandma Hogue.

Grandma Hogue’s Applesauce

Wash, peel, core & slice apples into large pot (thicker slices make chunkier applesauce, thinner slices make smoother).

Add water (1 c. for every qt. of apple slices – I get good results doing 4 qt. of apples at a time) and simmer until tender, but still chunky.

Add (for every qt. of apples) 1/2 c. sugar or more to taste, a dash of salt (1/8 tsp.), 1 tsp. lemon juice, and 1/8 tsp. cinnamon or nutmeg

Stir well and taste, adding more sugar if needed. Cook 1 minute more and remove from heat. Can be canned or frozen easily. Or just eat it right then! Yummy!

Day 3: Change

Posted on October 3, 2014 by Shannah

Yesterday I spent some time with Eric’s grandma. She’s had a rough year. Grandpa passed away in March. He was 93, and they’d been married almost 65 years. Now she lives with her son and daughter-in-law. Her macular degeneration makes her basically blind, and she can’t hear well either. She sits in an unfamiliar house unable to easily participate in life there and with nothing to do. And she misses Grandpa, their house, the life she used to have.

I tried to encourage her, but honestly, change is just plain hard. It means tears. It means dealing with new things you never wanted to have to face. It means people not understanding (or caring about) what you want or need. It’s just hard.

I’m still working through the reverberations of our move last year. I’m not settled here. Our new house is under construction in our backyard as I type this, but home is more than a house. I’m not necessarily sorry we moved, but I still have no sense of community, of belonging here. Change is hard.

Erin has been struggling with Kindergarten. She loves it while she’s there. But she is always concerned that she’s missing something. So at school, she worries she’d be having more fun at home. If she goes somewhere, she wishes she had stayed. She can’t choose a candy bar because she won’t find out until after she eats it that she might have wanted the other one more. She’s struggling with the change, with having to do (for her) a more mature thing and keep going, whether she misses something fun here or not. That is hard.

And parenting the twins is hard, too. We’ve changed from me being with them constantly (which has its own set of problems) to me NOT being with them some each day. I have to rely on their version of reality, on their ability (or lack thereof) to explain to me what happened to them while I wasn’t there. I have to trust their teachers (and I do, thankfully) to manage their experiences and let me know if things need addressed. But parenting from farther away is hard. And the change in parenting styles is hard, too.

I’m not really sure what all of this means. I don’t have any great answers. Change is hard. We don’t like it. I don’t like it. But I also know that it’s the only way I can grow and be different than I am right now. So there is tension between dealing with change and avoiding it. And the tension is hard, too.

I guess that’s why we do better to simply focus on today. On finding God (and thanking Him) right here, for just today. Grandma’s focus on the past is part of her grieving process, but it keeps her from moving forward. Erin’s fear of the future keeps her from enjoying right now. I need to learn from them both.

Lord, help me to trust you, to accept change and live today to its fullest, through Your Spirit and power. Let my life, with all its changes, be marked with Your presence – because You never change.

Day 2 – One Thing at a Time

Posted on October 2, 2014 by Shannah

So I am a horrible multitasker. Okay, I should say, I used to be a horrible multitasker. Since I’ve had kids (4 in 3 pregnancies in 4 years) my brain just doesn’t quite work like it used to. BUT, I still want to do as many things as I possibly can at the same time.

I want to check my email while I listen to Alex’s latest Angry Birds monologue.

I want to wash dishes while chatting with my husband about my day.

I want to write and keep up to date on Facebook.

I want to live my way and live biblically.

I want to mother my kids and get the chores done and have time to myself.

At.the.same.time.

And I can’t do it. I just can’t. And honestly, I’m not sure I really want to. Okay, I do want to keep checking Facebook and email religiously. And I want time to write. And time to myself. And time for my kids. And time for my beyond-fabulous husband. I do want to do it all. But I want to stop pretending that I can do it all at once.

So this month, I’m going to think about and write about and live about “One Thing at a Time.” Maybe it’ll be one book that you should read. Maybe one thing I learned today. Maybe a spotlight on one of my kids or one thing I wish I knew how to do or one thing about God that blows me out of the water.

But that’s what I’m going to do (try to do) every day this month. One Thing at a Time. And at the end of the 31 days, that’ll be 31 things. Not all at the same time. But all completed.

I’m kind of excited to see where I go. Hope you enjoy coming along with me, too!

31 Days of Focus (One Thing at a Time)

Posted on October 2, 2014 by Shannah

So, yesterday I decided that I would try to blog every day in October. You know “BEDO” or whatever the acronym should be.

And of course, I didn’t get a post up before my internet quit working last night. Darn.

So, I’m still going to participate. I’m just going to start today (see, here it is!). We’ll count this post as yesterday’s post. And I’ll try to get a real one done for today. I haven’t officially settled on a topic yet (oops). And I haven’t blogged daily in a long time. But I’m kind of looking forward to trying to do it again. Whatever happens…it should be an adventure!

Day 2 – One Thing at a Time

Day 5 – Oops!

Day 13 – The Calendar