A whole new perspective…

This morning I woke up aware of the strangest feeling.  It started last night and was still there this morning, and the only word I can use to describe it is…hopeful.

Eric and I ran up to the mall last night for a short while.  We have discovered that we do our best chatting while we are driving in the car.  And it was so again last night.  But what started out as a conversation about cruise control on the way to the mall, turned, on the way home, into a conversation about goals and priorities and where I/we are and where I/we need to be.

And the conclusion of the matter, after about 2 hours of discussion, is that I am not taking any grad classes this term. And I may, or may not, take more towards an MA.  When I really stopped to look at it, I did not enjoy that class, and I dreaded having to go every week.  And it seems that grad school is a bit counter to the other priorities we have set for ourselves in recent days.  So…I decided to drop my schedule for this term.

Instead, I’m going to focus more on writing, which is what I really know in my heart I can and want to do (at least I know it when fear isn’t giving me writer’s block).  So we’re going to take the cost of one of my classes, and I’ll be able to use that money for whatever resources I want or need (ie, books, supplies, a writing course, whatever).  And for the first time in months, I feel almost light-hearted. 

I keep waiting for the freaking out to start (I do a lot of that), but instead of that, I just sense that crazy hopeful feeling that I mentioned earlier.  This is a path I’ve been too afraid to try for a long time.  At 30, I’m tired of being afraid, and I don’t want to look back on the next 30 years and wish I’d tried it.  So…happy New Year to me.  Here goes nothing!

EDIT (10:13 am):  And I just bought 7 pairs of underwear online from VS for just under $40.  Love that!

Does anyone happen to have an extra $350 lying around?  Anyone? 

I didn’t think so.  Oh well.  That’s how much it’s going to cost to fix the cruise control in my car.  It’s been out for a number of months, and I finally got around to calling a few places until I finally found ONE place in all of Columbus that even works on such things. And they charge $350 dollars.  Yikes!  I don’t think I’ll be getting it fixed very soon.  *Sigh*

Anyway, on to happier thoughts.

I’ve decided that it’s time to stop sulking now.  After reading Gail’s weblog from earlier in the week and doing a good bit of thinking about things, I’ve decided that I’ve had a good long pity party for myself, and now it’s time to get a better perspective on things.  I’ve discovered that I have to give myself permission to sulk every so often, but I can’t let it go on too long.  It’s now been long enough.  So thanks again for all your prayers and hopefully my next report to you all will be “real” good news.

I actually did some work for CU yesterday.  I have some files to rewrite and programs to set up, but I’m in pretty good shape already.  Love that!  Classes at CU will start on Wednesday for me, but I start grad classes (sorry, Terri!) on Monday.  I’ll probably miss kick-off of the OSU game on Monday because of that, but “C’est la vie!”

It’s still freakin cold outstide.  For some reason, when it gets this cold, our garage door won’t go down.  It’ll go up (which is good), but then it gets stuck on the curve of its tracks when it tries to go back down.  Eric can pull on it as it’s coming to help it by…but I’m not sure I can reach it.  So now I have to decide whether or not to leave the house today.  I was hoping to run some errands (maybe spend $40 in gift cards at Victoria’s Secret!), but they may have to wait until tomorrow now.  We shall see…

Happy Thursday to everybody!

The Bad/Ugly…

• It is freakin’ cold.  My poor house has trouble when it’s this frigid outside!
• Weathermen really don’t know what they’re talking about.
• I had some weird infection in my eyelid this week.  Thankfully, it looks much better today.
• Sadly, we have had to move forward into the world of medical intervention in our pursuit of parenthood.  Please pray for us if you think of it (for me, especially…I’ve been struggling with discouragement about the whole thing).
• I really have a lot of work to do to prepare for classes next week.  I should get to work on that soon.  (We’ll see if it happens!)

The Very Good…

• It was a great holiday season in many ways.
• We had a small New Years gathering at our friends’ house.  Good food, laughter, chatting…great times…
• I really enjoyed having Eric home so often in the last two weeks.  Sometimes it’s weird, but this time, the company was very nice!
• Eric loved the Christmas gifts I got for him!
• I still have a few more days before I have to start “life” again!
• My Christmas decorations are all put away again, and having the house back to ‘normal’ has been surprisingly refreshing.
• Eric and I made dinner (chili) together last night.  Yummy!
• Karen only has, like, 6 weeks of school left to teach this year.

Anyway, today will be an errands day, for the most part.  I do have an eye checkup this morning, and I should call the dentist to make an appointment.  And sometime soon, I need to get my oil changed.  Maybe I can work that in today!  Happy Wednesday to you all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

So yesterday, I cleaned and reorganized a couple of closets, cupboards, etc.  I didn’t mean to, but I started one thing which led to another, which led to another…well, you get the idea.  But my little bedroom looks better than it did, and the closets are much nicer now.  So it was worth it.

Halfway through the morning, I realized that I had never gotten some things that we didn’t end up using for the Christmas program at church.  They’d been sitting at the church for almost a month, and I wasn’t sure where they were anymore.  So I made a quick run over there, and happily, I found them all very quickly. 

I spent the afternoon with Mom and Karen at her house.  Dad came up to help Erik install some outdoor lights he’d gotten for his birthday, so the girls just hung out and ran errands. 

We went out to dinner (with my Eric, too) to O’Charleys for Karen’s birthday.  Sadly, I tried something new and didn’t like it.  I tried to explain to Eric that it is precisely such an experience that makes me NOT try new things at restaurants.  Almost every time I do…I don’t like my meal.  And $12 is a lot to waste for a meal I might not like.  Thankfully, my dad got full pretty fast, so he let me have some of his steak, which was pretty good. 

After dinner, I goofed off, watched TV, and then went to bed.  A lovely evening, if I do say so myself!

I think we’re having a family party on Sunday for her, but here’s a little something for her actual day!

Eric is back to work today, so I am on my own.  I started a cleaning project that I think is going to turn into something a bit more complicated than I’d originally intended.  Oops!  Well…at least this will keep me from buying stuff somewhere because I have nothing better to do!

The weekend was good, but very busy.  Here’s the quick recap:

Saturday: Did some baking and wrapping and cleaning up at my house before heading to Mom’s for the party.  Lots of babies and children, lots of food, lots of gift cards.  (Most importantly, I ended up with TWO gift cards to Victoria’s Secret since, after I’d gotten one earlier, Eric chose the final package and that’s what was inside.  So now I have lots of money for underwear.  And the big VS sale is now/soon…so I can get even more!!!)

Sunday: Got up for church, then left immediately from first service to drive to the farm.  Had dinner, opened gifts with the in-laws, and then hung out.  Both sets of grandparents came over for supper, so we had another small exchange with just us, since we wouldn’t see them on Christmas.  Then an early bedtime…so nice!

Monday: Hung out with my in-laws for most of the day.  We left for home about 5, and we relaxed at home for the evening, which was very nice. 

Tuesday: Opened our presents and then headed to Cedarville for the day.  We did a family Christmas, had egg casserole, and then played, chatted and goofed off in the afternoon.  Chris & Deb (and the girls, of course) headed for Michigan mid-afternoon, and the rest of us just relaxed at Mom’s house.  We had a yummy ham dinner, and then Eric and I headed home about 9.

Wednesday: Yesterday was a pretty lazy day at our house.  We both had headaches and sore necks from sleeping wrong or something.  So we weren’t ambitious by any stretch.  I organized the gifts under the tree and put away the wrapping stuff.  Eric got the weekend’s pictures ready to post (look for an email to come soon), and we went to a movie in the afternoon (National Treasure 2…pretty good).  Then we had a light supper and relaxed all evening.

So that’s the recap…later!

It took me all day, but yesterday, I managed to fit 3 chores into 12 hours.  I did clean my bathrooms, and I did finish the laundry.  And I did wrap the presents we had to be wrapped.  Other than that, I goofed off, watched television, started a small crocheting project, and talked to Eric.  I left the house to put the trash out and get the mail.  That was it…lovely!

Today, my parents are coming up to Columbus, and Karen & I will join them to do some shopping (mostly helping them shop for each other).  Mom and Karen go together, and I go with Dad.  It’s sort of a holiday tradition, but we have a good time.  So I probably won’t be on Xanga much through the midday and afternoon. 

But here’s a little fun thing right before Christmas…
Colored lights or white lights? white

Real tree or fake tree? Fake.  Eric’s family always did real, but I don’t know how to take care of them, and he doesn’t care. So we go with fake.

What is your least favorite thing about the holidays?  Trying to schedule everything and everyone.

What is the one thing that you would like to see under the tree this year?  A puppy.

What is your favorite thing to do/build in the snow?  Snow angel (or maybe a Fox-n-Geese trail)

What is your favorite holiday drink? Hot chocolate.

What is your favorite holiday smell?  Cookies baking

Who is your favorite reindeer?  Vixen

What is your Christmas Eve ritual?  It varies, but it often involves a gift exchange with the Edlunds!

Are you a Friday after Thanksgiving shopper? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

What is your favorite holiday food?  Molasses Cut-out Cookies

How did you find out that Santa wasn’t real?  Don’t remember…it wasn’t a big deal either way in our house.

Who do you want to be under the mistletoe with? Eric!

Have you bought all your presents yet?  Yep!

Do you spend Christmas with a lot of family? As many as possible.

Do you still make snowmen and snow angels? Whenever possible.

Do you still have snow ball fights? Of course!  That’s how I first flirted with my husband!

What’s your favorite Christmas movie?  White Christmas

What do you plan to do for New Year’s Eve? Nothing yet.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever gotten for Christmas?  Not sure, but my full-length floor mirror would be one.

How early do you wake up on Christmas morning?  Whenever I feel like it, but probably 7-ish (am)

What do you usually get in your stocking?  Socks, mints, makeup stuff

What is your favorite religious Christmas carol? What Child is This?/ I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

What is your favorite nonreligious Christmas song?  White Christmas/ Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (Mercy Me version)

How long do you leave up your Christmas decorations? Into January

Here is a look at yesterday’s schedule:

6:45-7:10 – Get up, make coffee/Eric’s lunch, Xanga, send Eric to work
7:10 – Exercise
7:45 – Shower/Dress
8:00 – Breakfast/Goofing off
9:00 – Head for Polaris Fashion Place
9:30-10:45 – Shop at Polaris (4 stores, much success!)
11:00-11:40 – Shop at Hilliard-Rome Road (gift card, stop at Michaels)
12:00 – lunch at home, sort coupons
12:30-2:00 – grocery shopping, buy one last gift card
2:00-5:30 – put away groceries, goof off, ice cookies, wrap presents, greet Eric, goof off a bit more
5:30-6:30 – make dinner, eat dinner, watch end of Simpsons with Eric
7:00-9:00 – drive to Tuttle’s Best Buy (we got a free $10 gc with our purchase!), then to Easton, then home.
9:30-10:00 – goof off, read in bed, turn off lights.

So I got a ton done yesterday (I think I’m totally done buying gifts now), but wow what a day it was!

Today’s agenda includes staying home.  I might make one quick trip to WalMart, but if I can avoid it, I will.  Instead, I’m going to clean my house, do laundry, and finish wrapping presents.  And I might sit down and read, or knit or crochet something, or I might just goof off and do nothing productive between laundry loads. How’s that for a fabulous-sounding day!

I did a lot of running around yesterday.  I finished shopping for Eric, but I will be heading out again today to work on the rest of my list.  I wrapped presents in the afternoon, and I made sugar cookies after dinner. I will try to get those iced today (I was too tired last night). 

We did watch some TV last night, but Eric was watching shows on the Science Channel or HD Discovery.  So I learned about “How They Do That,” chocolate, and alternative fuels for cars.  The last one was somewhat interesting, but I mostly enjoyed listening to Eric correct their information, or at least the spin they put on the information.  He’s way to smart for his own good!

I can’t think of anything more interesting to tell you, I guess.  Maybe I’ll add more if I come up with something…

EDIT (11:45): I now have more to share:  So far this morning, I’ve been to Polaris and back.  And I stopped at Hilliard-Rome Road to buy a few things.  I got all my actual presents bought, and I’m down to about 4 gift cards that I still need to get!  I love crossing things off my list.  This afternoon, I think I’m going to go grocery shopping…we have a serious lack of food in this house!

The rest of the weekend…

So last Friday night, I got home exhausted and brain-dead.  I was late getting home, and it was very dark.  We had a light supper while watching TV, and then goofed off for the evening.  I even took a bath and went to bed early.  It was lovely!

Saturday I ran to Kohl’s to buy an ornament at 10:00 am.  It started snowing when I was walking across the parking lot.  Thirty minutes later, having gotten my ornament and stood in line to check out, the snow was coming down hard and already coating the ground.  I drove home (slowly), and stayed home until the Ornament Exchange that evening.  I debated all day about going, but by then, the rain had cleared the roads pretty well.  It was actually a good time, a much smaller party than usual, so it went much faster.  We were home by 9:00 pm.  Fabulous!

Sunday was church, then supper, then a party thrown by Eric’s boss for a couple of hours in the afternoon. After the party, we just hung out.  I was pretty tired after the social exertions of the weekend (I don’t have a lot of stamina for those sorts of things), so we just watched TV (holiday specials on the Food Network).

Yesterday, I ran some errands and goofed off a lot.  I did not clean my house.  It seems we may be starting to have some issues with our garage door.  I hope that doesn’t break on us this week, either trapping us inside OR outside the garage!  I left about 3:00 to go pick up Karen at Plain City and take her to her doctors appointment.  Then we had dinner at Panera and started registries for them at both Babies R Us and Target.  We had a fun time just being silly, and we were productive too!  And we were home between 8 and 8:30.  Lovely!  I pretty much crashed when I got home, and Eric and I vegged out in front of the TV again last night.  Hmmm….we’ve been doing a lot of that recently…we may have to work on it!

Today is another blank day.  I may go shopping for Eric.  I might run errands.  I might clean my house.  Maybe I’ll wash a load of jeans.  We shall just have to see what the day holds!