So we’ve had quite the birthday weekend around here.

Thursday, I tried to think of special things to do with the twins on their actual birthday. So they got a couple of can of play-doh to play with (we don’t do this often…I’m sure you can guess why!) in the morning. And we met my dad for lunch, which all 3 kids really enjoyed. Actually, I think my dad enjoyed it too! After naps, we played until Eric got home, bringing birthday dessert (mini whoopee pies). After dinner, they each got a whoopee pie with a candle in it. They giggled hysterically while we sang Happy Birthday to them and then blew their candles out with relish! They tore into gifts with that same relish, come to think of it. 

Erin got a stroller for her dolls. Alex got a rug with a road design on it for driving his cars and trucks. And they got a Curious George Christmas movie to share. Of course, we had all had a really rough night’s sleep the night before, so by that time, the kids were all fighting meltdowns. Erin wanted to play with Alex’s new toy, which he didn’t want to share. Megan wanted to chew on Erin’s new stroller, which set Erin off even more. Eventually, we did settle down to enjoy the toys a bit before bath and bed. 

Of course, bedtime was an unusually emotional time, too. For weeks, the twins have been reciting their mantra: “I number 2, but I gonna be number 3, and then I be a big boy (or girl) and I not need my pacifier!” Unfortunately, the reality of that mantra was pretty hard on them. They were overstimulated, way sugared-up, and over tired. And when they realized that we were serious about not getting them their pacifiers, Alex melted into a huge puddle of tears and sadness, and Erin looked up at me with big tear-filled eyes and sobbed, “I don’t want to be three!” 

(And truth be told, it was pretty hard on us, too…this reality that our kids had to learn — that growing up inevitably requires loss, that getting “big” also means putting away dearly loved, special times and things and activities. It’s a reality of life that still hits us hard, when things change, or loved ones pass away, or the “magic” of life that is inherent in childhood gets buried under the mundane realities of adulthood. It’s hard to watch your kids cross those bridges, small though they still are for now, and it makes you think of all the bridges, much bigger ones, that they will have to cross in the not-so-distant future. Yeah…our kids weren’t the only ones who felt tears that night…)

Thankfully, the over-tiredness eventually worked in our favor, and they soon fell asleep. Alex did come to the bathroom the next morning, looking deeply distressed, and told me very sadly, “I lost my pacifier.” It was heartbreaking. And nap times have been the hardest because they talk to each other instead of falling asleep. But we are making the adjustment to life without pacifiers. And I might not wait until 3 to take Megan’s. I’m not sure I can do this process again!

Anyway, Friday was spent playing with new toys, watching our new movie, and getting ready for the party on Saturday. I made the cakes and used the party as an excuse to do a lot of cleaning and sorting, which was a very good feeling. (Actually, if anyone wants to take my kids for a few hours so I can do that to the rest of my house…man, that would be great!)

And then it was Saturday. I got up at 6:30 to exercise before the rest of the house woke up and also cleaned up the basement. Eric and I spent the morning working on my to-do list. I finished decorating the cake (no pictures yet…sorry) and then we all cleaned and decorated. The twins helped me put Curious George decals on the wall – which they LOVED. Eric and I moved a bunch of toys to the basement to make a “playroom” for the kids that night and set up extra seating where the toys usually live. The kids went down for naps and I left to pick up food and balloons. I got home, and it wasn’t long until our first guests arrived!  And the party began!

The twins had a blast, I know. The people, the presents, the cake…fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! They got dress-up clothes, a kid-sized trampoline, new clothes, personalized ornaments, new toys…seriously, I don’t think we need Christmas after all of that! But overall, I think it went really well. Eric put together the trampoline and they jumped for a bit after baths (and first thing this morning because it was about the first thing Alex thought of…Thanks Mom and Dad!). Again we were overtired and overstimulated. But still, it was a very, very good party which they enjoyed immensely.

Of course, Sunday morning hit them pretty hard. We’ve had a number of meltdowns today, so church was followed quickly by lunch and nap (which are still in progress, thankfully). And I think the rest of the day, I will focus on lowering the level of excitement and stimulation.

But still, it was a pretty amazing birthday weekend for a couple of sweet little 3-year olds. And I’m glad I have a whole year to recover before we do it again!

That’s right…today the tiny squeaking burritos that they, for some reason, let us take home from the hospital turn 3 today! Life has certainly changed a lot from those crazy busy days when two little people suddenly decided that they ruled my world and kept me hopping with late night fussing, constant hunger complaints and a never-ending stream of poopy bottoms.

Wait…come to think of it…maybe not much has changed after all! 

But in all seriousness, these days are pretty amazing. I have two crazy awesome 3-year-olds running around my house.  They are funny, happy, talkative little sponges. They love their sister. They love each other. It’s just been incredible to watch them develop, as a pair AND as individuals. 

My Alex was born first (by 70 seconds according to the camera time stamp!). And these days, he’s just all boy. He wants to run, jump, bounce, be chased, climb, and any other very action verb you can think of. He likes cars and trucks and Blues Clues and Shaun the Sheep. He can’t seem to help but swing sticks (or anything stick-like) around like a…well, a stick, I guess. And he’s been known to beat out imaginary fire with those sticks, too, which is a little dangerous to the health and well-being of anyone nearby. 

Alex is also incredibly verbal these days, which is awesome. He is actually initiating conversations and people other than me can understand him (some of the time). He loves to be on his tricycle, though he never “got” pedaling this summer. I’m sure he’ll pick it up really fast next spring. He still loves his Scruffy puppy best of all his toys. He’s started really loving to be my helper, which is so fun. On the other hand, he’s taken to hoarding the toys, piling them up on the couch or the recliner in a mountain of toy cars, shopping carts, stuffed animals and other miscellany. Sometimes he does it to keep the toys for himself. Other times, he’s doing it to clean up (which he’s starting to really like to do…yay for me!). But that makes it hard to tell whether I should scold him or congratulate him for his pile of stuff…oh well!

   

Things that surprised me in recent days…

1. That there are now clocks that set themselves. I bought a new clock radio this week, plugged it in…and it displayed the correct time. Kinda freaky, actually…

2. When told to hug his sister for knocking her down, Alex added, of his own accord, “I love you, Erin.” First time that’s every happened. It was definitely too cute!

3. Megan has a molar. At almost 14 months, she has two bottom teeth in, as well as the front top where she’s got one tooth and 2-3 white bumps. But the other day, I realized that she’s completely put through one of her molars. So much for the standard order of these things…and that would also explain some of the cranky she was showing earlier this week, too!

4. I’m beginning to think that Erin is pretty much potty-trained. Even in public restrooms, she can (and wants to) go in, shut the door, do her thing and then let herself back out. Still working on pulling the pants back up, but I think she’s figured this thing out…woohoo!

5. Megan can talk. She’s been doing some animal sounds for a while. She’ll say “no-no” when she’s touching something she knows she shouldn’t have. She totally understands what we’re saying, nodding her head violently to give affirmative answers to our questions. But then…boom…out of nowhere the other day, she starts rattling off real words: nose, ear, belly, all done, stuck, tractor, book, pizza.  Heck, this morning, she pointed at my notebook and said “Booh” and when I asked her what color it was, she correctly answered with her word for green (which sounds more like “ghee”).  But seriously…this kid’s gonna be hitting full sentences by Christmas at this rate!

So yeah…it’s been an interesting world around here in recent days.  Fun…but man, I’ve got to stay on my guard all the time!

Dear Self,

You have two toddlers (and a baby). But as that fact seems to escape you more often than not, please take the following reminders and put them someplace where you will see them on a regular basis. 

1. Adding “quickly” or “now” to a command or request does NOT make any of your children move at all faster. As in, “Let’s get our coats on so we can go to Story Time…quickly!” You are wasting your breath.

2. When a lovey disappears just before nap time, remember that it will NOT be hiding in any of the places it has hidden in the past. Nap time will come faster if you start by looking in the least likely places first…and starting nap time is absolutely the highest priority.

3. No toy is desirable unless another child also wants it. This is why teaching children to share is so difficult. 

4. Neither a gate nor a threat of spanking will be sufficient to deter your children from the glittering glory that is the Christmas tree ornaments. And they will give those ornaments to the baby. This is the only time sharing comes naturally.

5. Every child MUST be permitted to push EVERY blue automatic door button that exists in EVERY lobby area.  There are no exceptions to this rule.

6. Someone will either poop their diaper or need to go to the bathroom exactly 15 seconds after you snap the last car seat buckle, no matter how many times you ask before snapping said buckle. 

7. When you tell a 3 year old that they cannot come out of his/her room in the morning until the clock has a “7” on it, be sure to cover everything but the hour number. Otherwise, they will come out at 6:27 because “they saw a ‘7’ and jumped out of bed just like you told them!” 

8. Just because they ate a food yesterday or the day before or sometime last week does NOT mean that they eat that food today. Unless that food is chocolate. Or marshmallow. Or cheese balls.

9. Every child’s potty seat is designed to create a puddle of pee that will remain on the toilet seat when the potty seat is removed. Always wipe the seat before you sit. Always. 

10. Your children will squeal, grunt, holler, call your name, scream at each other or take someone else’s toy at the climax of any television program or movie you decide to watch. It is inevitable. Be prepared to rewatch the climax of every show you turn on or just give up and quit watching television until your kids start school or go to bed. 

This is, of course, only a partial list, but hopefully it will help ease a little of the stress and frustration that necessarily exists when dealing with almost-3-year-olds. Thank you for your time. 

Sincerely,

Yourself

I am so blessed. Happy Thanksgiving!

I’ve got a lot of them these days…thoughts. But I’ve struggled to put them into words that would make sense on a blog. In all honesty, I write to make sense of my own thoughts most of the time. So I’m just going to ramble a bit and see what it is that I have to say…I hope you don’t mind.

Honestly, it’s been a long week.

It’s nothing new, really. Haven’t had enough sleep, of course. Been a bit hormonal, go figure. My kids are hitting milestones that include a lot more defiance, a lot less cooperation, and general boundary-pushing in every way possible. So far, I’m not loving the “threes” – and I hear that’s pretty normal.

But there’s been some more stuff, too. Just an overwhelming awareness of how deeply I fail on a regular basis. How ugly my pride and selfishness really are. I would never have described myself as an “angry” person, and yet, the Holy Spirit is opening my eyes to how often, when my schedule or priorities or whatever is disrupted, I actually get angry at people. Eric. My kids. Nameless drivers of cars on the freeway. I don’t lash out, really. I internalize it. I grumble under my breath. I seethe at them. I’m short with them. It is anger. And it’s really not pretty.

But I don’t wrap myself in the promises that “if I walk in the Spirit, I won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh” and that I “have been predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son.” No. My perfectionism kicks in, and I kick myself for screwing up. No forgiveness. No grace. Just the same hard-hearted responses that I inflict on everyone around me when they aren’t perfect either.

Again…so not pretty. So definitely NOT like Jesus.  

On top of all of that, I realized that one of the longings of my heart is really from God (as far as I can tell)…but also that we’re not yet to the place where He can trust me to do it. It’s something I’d love to do…tomorrow if I could. But I think it’s still off in the distance for now. And that’s okay…I’m willing to wait until God brings it to me. But it made me a little sad, too. Because I want it now. (Hmmm…guess I now know where my kids get it…)

So that, combined with all the other stuff, had gotten me pretty discouraged and disheartened and down over the last week.

But thankfully…

God knew exactly what I needed. My amazing sweet sister let me vent. My parents came up for dinner on Saturday. My husband and I had a really great talk this afternoon. I laughed…a lot…this weekend. It was all just what I needed.

No…I’m still harsh and unkind to people around me. My pride controls me much more than I’ve ever realized it did. I don’t forgive or give grace. My perfectionism and need for control are constantly being pitted against the wills of my children, with usually negative results. This season of my life is lonely and feels mostly purposeless (even though I know that’s not true). And I’m still oh-so-very-far from where I will someday be. 

But it is when I’m overwhelmed by my need for Him that He always shows up. These struggles are gifts because He’s using them to make me aware…because until I am aware, I won’t even desire to change. But I do want to change. I want to be one who speaks words of grace, not anger. I want my kids to see Jesus in me, real and alive and making their Mommy a better person and a better mommy, every day. I want people to see Jesus in me, even if all they see is me trying to get through a grocery store with three small kids and a too-long grocery list. I want to remember, to rely on the fact that He can change me to look like Jesus. It won’t be tomorrow. But He CAN do it. He is doing it. And it’s okay.

I know I’m not alone in much (or any) of this. Like I said, this is all just me, rambling. If it speaks to you, fantastic. If it prompts to you pray for me, I’ll be very grateful. But mostly, I just needed to get it out of my head so I could figure out what exactly I’m trying to figure out.

And now it’s time for bed. Monday comes very early at our house…happy Thanksgiving week!

So I was going to do a Baby Times-sort of post, but frankly, that would take more mental energy than I’ve got right now.  So you’re stuck with just a regular update. 

Here’s what we’ve been up to recently – 

We spent the weekend at the farm for birthday festivities. Eric and his grandpa were both born on Nov. 11, and Grandpa Hogue turned 90 this year.  So we went out on Friday, had a lunch with the fam on Saturday and spent the rest of the day preparing for a reception for Grandpa on Sunday afternoon.  And Eric’s dad and brother were working non-stop trying to get the corn chopped and the silage bags filled before more rain came. Oh, the joys of farming…

Eric spent most of his free time at the farm working on a camera set-up that they put up on top of a silo to take pictures of the building of his brother’s new barn. When it’s done (assuming the camera doesn’t blow off the top of the silo), he’s going to put together a time-lapse video of the whole project which should be super-cool. 

Megan had a REALLY bad night while we were at the farm…like crying almost non-stop from 9-midnight. I finally got her to sleep at almost 1. Then Alex was up at 2:30. Then Meg was back up at 5-ish. Man, I hate those kind of nights. We still aren’t sure what caused her fit. It might have been gas. It could have been the 4 or so teeth she seems to be trying to put through all at once. Either way, though, it was rough!

Monday, Eric took the day off so we didn’t have to rush home on Sunday night. That was nice. Then yesterday, we had to meet a chick from the Twins Club who sold me a pack-n-play and after that transaction took place, we just drove down the street to the Play Cafe where the kids had a blast for an hour or so.  Today we had a playmate at our house, so my house is currently (mostly) tidy, and the twins did a great job sharing their toys with “our fwends” as Alex called them. And I made Monkey Bread for a snack which was yummy. Haven’t had that in ages, and I ate way too much of it.  But it was definitely yummy. 

In other news…

The twins are absolutely into the “Threes” now. Erin melts into a puddle about everything and nothing. Alex acts like he’s trying to tear the house down. Both are definitely getting more defiant. And I’m trying to keep the PT from stalling out. They say that 3 is worse than 2. I believe it. I totally believe it. 

Megan learned to say “uh-oh” the other day…super cute!

I finished knitting a scarf to give as a birthday present to my niece this weekend.  I need to block it today so it is ready for Saturday’s party.  I hope she likes it.  

I have actually started my Christmas shopping, so that’s cool.  And fun.  I really need to get our lists out to family so they have some ideas for all these sales I keep getting emails about.  Of course, I should probably finish the lists before I send them, I guess. 

I need a new cell phone.  My current one will no longer stay turned on unless it is plugged into the wall.  Thankfully, I’m 6 months over my last 2-year plan, so I can go upgrade or whatever at any time.  Might have to be tonight!

Okay, I think that’s all the randomness I can come up with right now.  I have in mind a couple of other, more “intelligent” posts but they haven’t gelled enough to actually get them posted.  So soon…

But until then…Happy Wednesday!

That’s what I am.  Lack of (enough) sleep for weeks dropped my immune system so that I got hit unusually hard by the cold that my kids had last week.  And I’m really sore because my body seems to be ignoring the fact that Megan hasn’t nursed in over a week and we don’t need any more milk. SO…I’m blowing my nose and trying to keep my watery eyes from burning and trying not to bump my chest unexpectedly and wishing I had a nanny so that I could dump the care of my kids onto her today.

But alas, no such person lives at my house.  So I guess I’ll muddle through the whole parenting thing today.  And just be glad that we got some super cute pics of them in the backyard last night.  

1. I went with the family to the farm.  We left on Saturday morning after Eric’s bible study and came home last night.

2. I got to hang with just Eric running some errands.  We do some of our best talking while we drive…love that!

3. I actually read the ENTIRE text of Issue 2.  All of it.  The Zanesville paper included a 4-section insert with the text for Issues 1, 2 & 3.  Issue 1 was the front page.  Issue 3 was the back page.  The other 50+ pages was Issue 2.  It took most of Sunday afternoon, but I now know how I intend to vote next Tuesday and why.  Nice!  

4. I did not get good sleep because we all (except Eric, so far) have some nasty colds and my kids refused to sleep at Grandma’s house.  *sigh*

5. I had some really good chats with my MIL.

6. I took the kids down the barn where we helped give hay to cows, watched the calves being fed and waved to Uncle Alan on the tractors.  We  the farm!

7. After 7+ years of marriage (plus our dating time), I realized I finally know my way around my MIL’s kitchen!

8. I undid all the work I had completed on a knitting project, got the right-sized needles and started again.  It’s going much better now!

9. I missed the Buckeye game, which (I hear) was really good.  But honestly, I probably wouldn’t have stayed up for then end even if I’d been home.  So…oh well!

10. I put 2 of my 3 kids to bed in their clothes last night because they were that asleep by the time we got home.  Alex woke up enough to want his jammies, but the girls, we just laid in bed as they were.  And we were all in bed by 9:20.  Lovely!

11. I packed us to leave in about half an hour on Saturday morning.  I needed to fold some clothes and clean the kitchen first.  So when Eric got home at 9:15, I hadn’t even started packing. But we were driving out of our driveway at 9:50…go me!  (And I didn’t forget anything important…woohoo!)

And that’s pretty much what I did this weekend.  Happy Monday!

Can I tell you how much I love my MIL’s willingness to make Halloween costumes for us!?!  So here they are…

Two Pirates…

And a Parrot…

And the whole crew!