Category Archives: Spiritual Things

Day 17: Why Looking Back is Valuable

Posted on by

I wrote this post last year on this date. I’m reposting it today (with some edits) because I found it valuable. Maybe you will, too.

So I have these two verses on my mind today.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD.

1 John 3:10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.
They struck me, one from a Bible study I’m doing with some fabulous ladies and one from my own personal study, because they are total opposites. Old Testament, New Testament. Whiny prophet, Beloved disciple. Written to Israel, written to Christians. They are from opposite ends of every spectrum. But they are remarkably similar, too. Like snapshots, taken from two different angles of the exact same God.
And I got to thinking…There are a lot of people, Christian and not, who are all about justice. The poor. Modern-day slavery. Racial inequalities. The real, nitty-gritty, hard-to-face and harder-to-fix problems that people all around us are dealing with. And they bang this drum loudly: remember the “widows and orphans and true religion,” people. You gotta “Love your neighbors.”
And then there are many Christians who are all about right and wrong. Right doctrine (which is super important). Right motives. Right behaviors (or not, since we Christians are SO good about pointing out ‘wrong’ behaviors, aren’t we?). These people major on the righteousness. Be holy. “Put away your old man,” they remind us and “put on the new man.”
And the thing is…God majors on righteousness. It’s really a big deal to him. And he ALSO majors on justice. He is the God of justice. He does them both. He wants them both. And according to these verses, He DELIGHTS in both.
Which totally caught me by surprise. He delights in them? They both thrill his heart? When God sees acts of justice and acts of righteousness, he has the exact same response? I think he does. And they bring God JOY.
We, on the other hand, get so bent out of shape over which one is the bigger deal. No joy, only in-fighting. Or nit-picking strategies while missing the real issues. And maybe the whole time we’re bickering, God is trying to get us to see the even-bigger picture. He wants them BOTH. They aren’t mutually exclusive. And (gasp!) they actually might work together (when He’s the one doing the work) and result in real, true, God-like love.
Let’s ask him to teach us to DELIGHT in ALL the things that delight Him, not just the one we are most drawn to. Let’s practice cheering on those whose call is in a different arena. Let’s see what happens when we get excited, really joyful, over the things that bring God joy. Because that would be an awesome, pretty-darn amazing thing, wouldn’t it?

Pro Life

Posted on by

Okay, I’ve seen the articles. I get it. Christians haven’t done a great job of helping real people bear the burdens of real life. Life that includes a lack of food. Not enough money to pay both the heat and the water bills. Medical needs that there is no money to cover. Clothes that aren’t warm enough for the winter that’s going to hit any day. Not to mention all the social issues and people groups and justice concerns that inundate our news feeds.

You are right. We aren’t doing enough. And we can do better.

If you want me to be more aware, more truly invested, fine. I need to be. If you are arguing that I need to engage in real community issues, in my community, especially on behalf of the marginalized people groups in my community, you’re right. If you want me to care more about others than I do about myself, I agree with you. I need a real change of heart in that area.

But please, can I, please, address a couple of things.

First, please stop insinuating that I don’t care about little boys going hungry or mommas who can’t afford clothes for their kids or families who are struggling to make ends meet or older folks who can’t afford their medications. That I don’t love gays or muslims or the boys picking chocolate in Africa or the small ones (and grownups) dying in Syria as we speak. I do care. I care to tears. I don’t always respond well or know how to get involved, but I DO care. More than you could ever know.

And second, I must address the (slightly condescending) declaration that I have to do all of these things … YOUR way.

To you, it seems, I am not pro-life unless I am also pro- your preferred programs. I am “pro-birth” because I do not also support the giving of tax dollars as YOU see fit. Unless I define “help” or “acceptance” in all the same ways that you define “help” or “acceptance,” then I don’t really see the problem. And I don’t really care about its solution.

And that, I cannot agree with.

Yes, I need to do more. Believe it or not, I am doing something. I do define “life” well beyond the mother’s womb. But okay, I can do more. Because yes, I do struggle to look into the eyes of the real people who need. I don’t always know how to talk to people whose beliefs are different from my own. Yes, I’ve been taken advantage of enough times that I’m a bit leary of some who ask for “help.” Yes, I know that I hesitate to make eye contact with those who’ve accepted their “brokenness” and asked for what they need. You’re right. I need to be broken with them and for them and instead of them: the children and parents and men and women who just need a kind word, eye contact, a welcoming hug, and a non-judgmental hand. I can do more.

You’re right … about that.

But please do not equate “do more” or “do better” with “do it my way.” There are good ideas and logic and anecdotal evidence on both “sides” of this debate. I am not anti-life because I believe that what works in one area will not be the best solution for other areas.  Yes, I’m still learning. I know I’m way behind. And I’ll own all the spaces where my real-life education is well-less than it should be. I’m working on it.

But do not say that “pro-life” means “doing it your way.” Because to be “for life” is not a program, a plan for tax spending, or a political party. It’s not a my-way-fits-all “solution” to problems we can never entirely solve. No. Pro-Life is a way of seeing.

It’s seeing people as God sees them – made in His image and infinitely valuable – and then acting toward them as God would do in my place. That is what Pro-Life really is. And there is more than one way to get there.

What we really need is not a program or for everyone to say “we’re all okay just as we are and anyone who disagrees is not pro-life.” What we need is for God to help ALL of us really see people. All people. To reach out to each other and for each other. We need to look for ways to be life-givers and life-speakers and life-protectors. We are ALL to be HIS hands and feet … right where we are … because that’s the life He’s called us to. And that’s what it means to be FOR life. For everyone.

Justice and Righteousness

Posted on by
So I have these two verses on my mind today.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD.

1 John 3:10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.
They struck me, one from a Bible study I’m doing with some fabulous ladies and one from my own personal study, because they are total opposites. Old Testament, New Testament. Whiny prophet, Beloved disciple. Written to Israel, written to Christians. They are from opposite ends of every spectrum. But they are remarkably similar, too. Like snapshots, taken from two different angles of the exact same God.
And I got to thinking…
There are a lot of people, Christian or not, who are all about justice. The poor. Modern-day slavery. The real, nitty-gritty, hard-to-face and harder-to-fix problems that people all around us are dealing with. And they bang this drum loudly: remember the “widows and orphans and true religion,” people. You gotta “Love your neighbors.”
And then there are many Christians who are all about right and wrong. Right doctrine (which is super important). Right motives. Right behaviors (or not, since we Christians are SO good about pointing out ‘wrong’ behaviors, aren’t we?). These people major on the righteousness. Be holy. “Put away your old man,” they remind us and “put on the new man.”
And the thing is…God majors on righteousness. It’s really a big deal to him. And he ALSO majors on justice. He is the God of justice. He does them both. He wants them both. And according to these verses, He DELIGHTS in both.
Which totally caught me by surprise. He delights in them? They both thrill his heart? When God sees acts of justice and acts of righteousness, he has the exact same response? I think he does. And they bring God JOY.
We, on the other hand, get so bent out of shape over which one is the bigger deal. No joy, only in-fighting. Or nit-picking strategies while missing the real issues. And maybe the whole time we’re bickering, God is trying to get us to see the even-bigger picture. He wants them BOTH. They aren’t mutually exclusive. And (gasp!) they actually might work together (when He’s the one doing the work) and result in real, true, God-like love.
Let’s ask him to teach us to DELIGHT in ALL the things that delight Him, not just the one we are most drawn to. Let’s practice cheering on those whose call is in a different arena. Let’s see what happens when we get excited, really joyful, over the things that bring God joy. Because that would be an awesome, pretty-darn amazing thing, wouldn’t it?
Or maybe it’s just me.

He Gave Us TWO

Posted on by

Today, I was driving as Megan pointed out in excitement that there were TWO blue markers. She was coloring; I was barely paying attention.

“Yep, two. That’s amazing,” I said with a fake enthusiasm.

And then…then it struck me. God could have given us one blue. But no, he gave us TWO. There are two different shades of blue to color with. And of course a thousand more. We have endless blues.

And for the slightest moment, y’all, there was a happiness in my heart. Over blue.

It may sound strange. And it is. But I’m working to regain some wonder in my life, some grace in my perspective on things. I want to be thankful, to see the world and the people and the LIFE all around me and stand in awe. And today, I had the tiniest of break-throughs. A slight little flicker of “happy” over the smallest of graces.

Which got me thinking. Because today is Alex & Erin’s 7th birthday. My twins are seven years old. And I refuse to bemoan it. I can’t…there’s too much WONDER in it.

Because there are TWO. I was expecting one and was blessed with two. Thinking I’d have to choose either/or, I got both/and. Thinking I’d could plan myself into “perfect” parenting, I got knocked on my butt with TWO. TWO tender-hearted, smart and funny, wonderful, getting-so-big crazy delightful little people. God gave us TWO. More than I could have asked for. More than I knew I wanted. More than I ever thought possible. A flicker of happy.

So today, for the color blue and for my fabulous twins, I knew WONDER.

See…even in that…God gave TWO.

So I give Him thanks. He gives me SO much more than I deserve.

 

Little Things

Posted on by

The opening to an article I read recently referred to the explosion of the Challenger Space Shuttle. He said this:

After months of investigation, here’s what the Rogers Commission…discovered: an o-ring seal in the right solid rocket booster failed at take-off. I won’t bore you with the details, but an o-ring is a small device relative to the size of a space shuttle. Very small. It wasn’t something huge, like a puncture in the rocket booster or a hole in the cabin, that caused this disaster. It was a small, seemingly insignificant, o-ring failure.

The author goes on to make his point, but it was the illustration that was of particular value to me. I was reminded again of the importance of little things. The littlest things. The one, single o-ring that can take down the entire rocket ship. They’re everywhere. And I am not immune to them or their influence. No one is.

A little thing goes wrong. A friend brings up a “concern” about something. Eric and I have an honest conversation about how things are going. One of my kids lets slip a struggle they are having. I wrestle…again…with something in my life, at church, in the news.

They’re little things, all by themselves. But instead of taking them seriously, I often overlook them. Again.

It’s the Bible verse, “Let him who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall.” That’s the good old KJV version, of course. A more modern version says, “You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else.”

And there it is: I could fall flat on my face as easily as anyone else.

My plans aren’t foolproof. My marriage isn’t fireproof. My kids aren’t untouchable. Whatever “it” is…I have to admit the truth.

It.could.happen.to.me.

A year or so ago, a family member was taken to the emergency room with chest pains. The doctor told him he’d had a “warning” heart attack and that he was lucky. Most people don’t get a warning.

The same is true in life.

Sometimes we can avoid greater calamity by paying close attention to the little things, the o-rings. Maybe that’s what Paul meant in the very next verse when he said, “God will give you a way out.” There is an escape hatch. And while, in the context of the verse, God is clearly the provider of that escape…how often, honestly, is our escape directly related to the little things?

The small voice nudging me either to act or to be quiet, to hold my temper, to give grace. Choosing not to defend myself and my actions and instead to pray honestly about where I’m on dangerous ground. Acknowledging that my priorities may be off and seriously assessing what I’m prioritizing over my husband, my kids, my reputation. Humbling myself to listen instead of refusing to hear truth when it’s spoken to me, by the Spirit, my husband, my friends, my kids.

The warning signals are there. And it’s up to me to take the escape route.

I can blow it off. I can put the “scheduled maintenance” off for a more opportune moment. Or I can stop and check on the o-rings. I can evaluate, realign my priorities, pray over my kids and my family, deny myself. And take seriously the reality that it can happen to me.

The truth is, the little things are always there. And when all is running smoothly, they’re fine. But when they go bad, it can be catastrophic. So what do I do? I have to stop. And listen. And submit. Before the explosion occurs.

That way, when the crisis moment comes (and I never know when that’s going to be), I will have already addressed the weak points in my armor, my plan, my perspective. And I may just be able to avoid seeing my whole life go down in a ball of flames.

That’s the power of the little things.

WWAVD?

Posted on by

WWAVD…What would Ann Voskamp do? When Jen Hatmaker wrote that in a blog a while back, I laughed out loud at my computer. WWAVD…Awesome.

Because, though a bit late to the One Thousand Gifts party, I got there. And like most of us, I am often uplifted and touched by her blog. But I also need to be honest. Because, well, this is my blog, and I despise fluff and nonsense.

One Thousand Gifts is a remarkable book. Worth reading. And re-reading. Now, to be honest, some parts just elude me (I still don’t get the moon chapter). And to be honest, AV’s poetic style tends to bog me down sometimes. But the book…its ideas and questions and passion…they resonate every time I read them.

Eucharisteo. Giving thanks. Thankfulness as the path to re-membering ourselves into wholeness and a life fully lived. These ideas speak to me. I feel a Holy nudge as I consider them. And also, I cannot escape them. They keep showing up in other, unexpected places.

Like Madeleine L’Engle’s Walking on Water. A book about faith and art and how the two intersect. But right in the middle, she describes the life-threatening injury of her then-9-year-old granddaughter, Lena.

“I opened the small prayer book I bring with me when I travel, and when I came to the psalms for the evening, there was a picture of nine-year-old Lena…It was almost more than I could bear. I held the prayer book loosely, and a card fell out…on it were the words of John of the Cross: ‘One act of thanksgiving made when things go wrong is worth a thousand when things go well.’

“And I knew that I had to make that act of thanksgiving. I’m sure I was given the grace to make it that night and during the several days that followed…The largest part of that act of thanksgiving was gratitude for my children and grandchildren, for the first nine years of Lena’s life, and then to say with Lady Julian of Norwich, ‘But all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well,’ and then to add, ‘No matter what.’ That was the important part, the ‘no matter what.’

“It was ten days before Lena regained full consciousness and we knew that she would recover. The gift of that card falling out of my prayer book when it did was one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. It made me affirm to myself that God is in control, no matter what, that ultimately all shall be well, no matter what.”

There it was again…out of nowhere…eucharisteo. Thanksgiving in the middle of real life. And God showing up, unmistakable and full of mercy. AV’s message. Another’s words. I see it. I get it. I think they have uncovered a real and truly holy truth.

But…here’s the thing. I’ve read One Thousand Gifts multiple times. I’ve recommended it to others. I even started a ‘gift list’ of my own. And yet. And yet. Something is still missing.

It’s like I’m trying to study off of someone else’s outline.

Starting in junior high, I studied by outlining chapters. It helped me remember the key information. I understood each chapter’s flow: the main points, the sub points, the important words. By the time I finished an outline, I knew the chapter. I had it.

But of course, it wasn’t a miracle solution. Sometimes, my friends would ask to borrow an outline. They wanted to look over it, hoping a quick glance right before the test would give them an edge. I always let them look, of course. But though they were hoping the information would just sink in, it never worked that way. My scores were always higher. My ability to use the information was always better.

Because they hadn’t done the work. They hadn’t read the chapter sentence by sentence, writing as they went. They were reading my journey through the lesson, reading my record of how it all fell together.

And that’s where I find myself with AV and my gift list. I got over 500 things written down. But it never stopped feeling…fake. Some of it was true thankfulness. But “write down 3 unspoken graces” just never ended up meaning much to me. And months in (and multiple readings of the book accomplished), I still don’t see much joy.

And I want the joy.

So I’ve stopped trying to copy her path. Maybe a list worked for her. Because she was living the lesson as she wrote them down. Maybe a list is working for you. (If so, great. Seriously, I’m so glad for you.) But it has seemed that the path to joy may not be as simple as just writing things down – at least not for me.

I need to think my way through it first. I need to understand the grace of it all before recording the graces makes a dent in my think skull. I have to absorb the truth of eucharisteo straight to my heart before my heart can break open to the joy of gratitude.

So I’ve given up on my list. I’m not done with eucharisteo. Not by any stretch. When I find myself in a rough patch with my kids. In a pity party of my own creation. When I’m just short of huffing in irritation at my husband. In those moments, I am working to build the same habit. To stop and give thanks. To redirect my perspective up. To pause and see good when I am ready to slice off someone’s head with my sharp and sarcastic tongue.

I’m learning. It’s the same path, I think. But a list of 1,000 things will probably not be part of it. At least not for me. And if not for you, either, that’s okay. Don’t limit yourself to reading AV’s outline. I don’t think that’s ever what she intended. Find your own path to the heart of joy. Pursue gratitude. Give thanks.

And in the end, I think that God will show up. No matter what.

 

 

Learning Grace

Posted on by

Something I’m pondering…in reference to God’s call in Isaiah 55:

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. 2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

And related to that passage, this quote: “The idea is that they were to take freely from Him what they normally would have had to pay for.” (Lioy, NIV commentary lesson)

The world tells me I have to pay for…everything. Pay ahead and someday, I’ll get what I want. Do I want to rest? Pay up in worry and hard work and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Do I want love? Pay up in service and slavery and meeting all the expectations everyone throws at me? Do I want acceptance? Pay up in lowering my standards and compromising my beliefs. Do I want peace and refreshment? Pay up. Do I want hope? Pay up. Do I want a life of ease and beauty? It can all be mine if I just.pay.up.

But God doesn’t ask us to pay. He asks us to accept. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Why? Why? Why?

I live my life trying to pay up, putting quarters into the vending machine. Thinking that if I just do enough, live enough, have enough, AM enough, then I’ll pay in enough to get out the beverage of my choice: the perfect family, “good” kids, no health scares, a big house, a flawless marriage, and on and on and on.

I spend so much time trying to earn…everything. And it’s not just that I think I need to pay for it. I want to pay for it. I have totally bought into the system that says it can all be earned. I mean, it can’t be a gift because then…because then…what about me? If I take the free gift, then it has to be about God. All about Him. And in my selfishness and pride, I refuse.

I refuse his gifts. I refuse grace. I refuse to accept his presence and power (above all I can ask or think, according to his power at work in me). I offer him my “all,” but really I’m still just trying to bribe Him, like He’s just another vending machine, to give me what I think I want.

And what do I want? More selfish control. More glory for me. Less discomfort and all of the easy street. And none of Him. No, really, I don’t really want Him. I don’t want grace.

So I have to learn it. I have to learn grace. Learn to accept it. Learn to let go of my pennies and nickels and selfish dimes. Learn to stop looking to vending machines (of people, of success, of perfection, of stuff) and learn…to LISTEN.

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

Father, I’m tired of paying. You are not a vending machine. You are a drinking fountain. Free water. Clean and fresh, mine for the taking. You want me to come to you, and through Jesus, accept freely from you what I would otherwise have to pay for. You want me to let grace flow down, filling me up and pouring out so that I become a drinking fountain of grace for others.

For my kids. My husband. My neighbors. A single mother somewhere in Africa. Every single soul you cross my path with for every tomorrow that you have planned for me.

I am not this conduit of grace. Far from it, Jesus, I am only just learning grace. A baby in this context. But I am learning. I want to learn. To come and take freely from You what I would normally have had to pay for.

Show me how. Fill me up. Let me Come. Let me Listen. So that my soul will rejoice in the richest of fare.