So it seems that my stress levels of the last two weeks were not a result only of my to-do list.  Yesterday, I suddenly realized that my issues were significantly hormonally based (you can all figure out what tipped me off, I’m sure).  So, it was something of a relief to know that my inability to cope for the last two weeks was actually directly related to my body and not to a sudden decrease in my over-achiever status!  And thanks again for all your encouragement for the last two weeks…you all rock!

Along those lines, however, my “realization” also means that my cycle has started over, and I’m still not pregnant.  I did wonder two weeks ago if I was close to ovulation, but the signs were never obvious enough, so I missed it again.   And now it looks like I will definitely reach my infertility “deadline” before we manage to get pregnant on our own (we haven’t been preventing it for almost 18 months).  Earlier this year, I set December as the limit for when I would stop hoping it would happen on its own and go to the doctor to start pursuing other options.  I was really hoping I wasn’t “broken” enough to need medical intervention, but I guess I’m going to have to make that phone call.    Anyway, I know some of you have been praying with us about all this, so please continue to do so.  Maybe one of these days, we’ll have some better news to share.

Anyway, for some happier thoughts…it was a very good weekend!

• Friday night was date night.  Dinner at Champps, then some browsing at Barnes & Noble and MicroCenter.  It was nice to be “stuck” in the car together so we had to talk to each other. 
• Saturday, I got lots of work done for grad school and Basic English (I caught up again!).  Then we had Deb’s birthday party on Saturday night.  And the Buckeyes won, though I did not stay up for the game.
• Sunday was church, a light supper, got all my work done, played a computer game, and went to small group.  Then home and to bed. 

So all in all, I was productive (I even cleaned the bathrooms!), I was social, and we got to be early every night.  So lovely!!

The trouble that I have with to-do lists is that I want to see them crossed off.  It’s not that I’m trying to avoid having them.  Actually, I really like to know that my day will be filled with productive work.  But this semester, I’ve struggled with my lists because, many times, it seemed that my individual chores (the ones that are definitely repeating, such as grading) would reappear or refill themselves before I could get a chance to cross them off.  This never-ending cycle made me feel like I was only a step or two from this tidal wave that would crash down on my at any moment.  I hate that feeling.   So, for example, on Monday and Tuesday, before I could read all the submissions for Basic (got it down to 10 or so), the students refilled the submissions folder with 80 different pieces. 

However, though this week started out so discouragingly, it is ending so much more do-ably!  I managed to empty the submissions folder on Wednesday night.  I caught up on my Comp grading on Wednesday before I left CU.  And that meant that, yesterday, I had time to start my grad school project early and to work on the Christmas program for church!  And I got my oil changed.  And I ran errands.  And I finished folding all the laundry.  And we went to bed early (like 9:00) with lights out about 9:45.  How. very. lovely.

So, thanks to all of you for praying and encouraging me this week.  Hopefully, this was the crest of the wave and I will be able to keep ahead of everything better now.  And hopefully, I have learned the lesson of trusting and resting instead of freaking out (Is. 30:15)!  Between God, my husband, and my Xanga peeps…I am most certainly blessed.

As for today, it’s off to CU for the day again.  I don’t have as much prep time this morning because of the 10 am faculty meeting (woo.hoo.).  But tonight, I think Eric and I will be going on a date.  And this weekend, we have lots of time to relax and sleep in and get work done.   Happy Friday!

Today, for the first time in a week, I actually can accomplish most of my to-do list.  I am caught up on Basic English and Comp grading (until tomorrow anyway ), which means that I have time to work on grad school and Christmas stuff today!  And that means my weekend won’t be nearly as stressful either (I hope). 

And in light of my productivity this week, I vegged on the couch last night.  I watched Dancing with the Stars and the Bionic Woman.  We recorded Life, but I was too tired to watch.  I knitted two rows, but was even to brain-dead to do much on that!  SO it was a very laid-back evening.  How nice!

On a sad note, I guess Holly (my niece) gashed open her chin yesterday.  Deb asked Mom to go over to help determine if Holly needed stitches.  I don’t know how it turned out, but we’ll be having a birthday party for Deb this weekend, so I’ll find out then, I guess!

Speaking of that party, I need to go to WalMart today for an oil change and a lot of little items.  Maybe I’ll do the receipt game when I get home!  Happy Thursday!

A quick post before driving to CU today.

I was crazy productive yesterday.  It was a long day, but I got lots done! 

• My meeting was semi-productive (we’re waiting for our new music minister to arrive next week so we can actually get answers to our questions). 
• I watered some of the lawn for Eric (thankfully last night’s rain watered the rest of it! )
• I read my papers for Comp.
• I graded the papers for Basic
• I read/graded over half of the computer submissions for Basic.
• I made dinner, did laundry, cleaned up the kitchen.
• I worked a bit on Christmas program stuff.
• I watched Eureka with Eric.  It was the first of a two-part episode.  Can’t wait for next week!

I’ve just decided I’m going to have to deal better with the fact that I’ll never clear my to-do list completely (at least for a couple more months).  But it will all get done, and God is still good. 

Okay…gotta head for the ‘Ville.  Happy Wednesday!

EDIT (2:02 pm):  Funny story.  Eric called to ask me to water the lawn again today.  Of course, I obliged.  So before I left for my meeting, I ran the hose to the back yard, set up the sprinkler and started the water.  Unfortunately, I had it backward so it was watering towards our neighbors yard. Oops!  So I ran around the water to turn it around, which would’ve worked fine except that I was now directly in the water’s path.  I took a direct hit to the face/head, resoaked my recently dried hair and splattered water on my shirt.  It made me laugh though!  End Edit

I guess the best time for me to be truly honest with myself is between 3-6 in the morning. 

The bad news: I woke up last night at 4:30 and came to a somewhat shocking realization of just how stressed and pressured I am feeling right now.  Lying there, my areas of activity (Comp, Basic, Drama, Grad School, etc) took turns popping into my consciousness.  Each time, I’d experience a sense of near-panic as my brain would instantly start listing all the work I have to do in that particular area.  Even more sad, I realized that my body is starting to react to the constant strain. 

The good news: My Bible study this week has been in Hebrews 4, where it talks about entering God’s rest. 

• The dictionary I use defined that idea this way: “God’s rest is entered when a believer is confidently assured within, and outwardly lives peaceably in the assurance of God’s daily provisions.”
• Sounds like exactly what I need, doesn’t it?  And the passage then reminds us that the Israelites didn’t receive this promise (until the next generation) because they did not “combine [the message they heard from God] with faith” (4:2).  Ouch! 
• So, this morning, I am trying to stay much more in tune to the Spirit’s
  reminders that he loves me no matter what, that He alone defines my
  value, and that my definitions of failure/success are still deeply
  skewed.  If you think of it, please pray for me.  None of this changes the length of my to-do list, but I hope it will help my perspective on that to-do list immensely!

Other notes from yesterday:

• I started yesterday with 10 ungraded submissions in Basic English.  After classes, I had almost 80.
• We had an interesting discussion in grad school last night about marginalized populations (Black, Asian, Gay/Lesbian, etc.) and the canon. These types of discussions are why I’m glad I went back to grad school.  It is nice to be exposed again to views that are not all one-sided.  It’s really a challenge, though, to participate well and bring honor to Christ.  So many academics immediately discredit faith as unintellectual, so it’s a fun challenge to show that my faith actually makes me a better intellectual (I hope!). 
• I did finish that last article.  It made a bit more sense the second time through.  Then last night, my prof told us she’s decided that the book isn’t really as helpful as she’d thought it would be.  So we’re ditching it and moving up the next project.  So, no more reading of that book!   But now I have to do an 8 minute presentation next week instead of in 3 weeks.   I guess you win some, lose some…

Anyway, I have a meeting at the church at 10 this morning.  Then I’m going to try to do a lot of grading and laundry.  Then tonight will be our weekly Eureka viewing.  Yay for Tuesdays!

I wanted to make sure I posted today since I didn’t even make it onto Xanga on Friday.  So here’s the recap:

• Friday: mostly classes and travel. 
• I needed to stop at WalMart on my way to CU so that I could head straight home that evening.  The plan was to leave for the farm as soon as possible. 
• Unfortunately, there were three accidents on I70 eastbound (the road we’d be taking), so we ended up hanging out at home for a while.
• That gave me time to pack and grade my Basic English stuff before we left, so that was good.
• We arrived at the farm about 8:00.  Eric and his mom played with their new cameras.  I got really tired, really fast!
• Saturday: hanging out
• We ran some errands with my MIL in the morning, then had lunch.
• We “helped” Alan do a job for another farmer.  Eric drove Alan’s new truck with the machine attached. Alan drove the tractor.  Eric helped load/unload.  I just sat around and read a book.
• After getting home, we went in to say hello to Eric’s grandparents.  We actually had a great chat with much laughter.  They are the cutest little couple ever!
• After a quick supper on our own (the family had a church obligation), we headed home.
• Sunday: busy
• Church in the morning, plus the drama people had to man a recruitment table. So we all came as characters and generally amused the congregation as they came and left.   I was a newsboy, and I even successfully tied my own tie!
• We grilled pork for dinner.  Yummy!
• I worked on grad stuff all afternoon.  The book I read while “helping” Alan was a grad school assignment.  I still had 3 articles left to read.  As of this morning, I still have half an article left.  I just quit because I had NO idea what the man was saying.  Hopefully, he’ll make more sense this afternoon!
• Small group finished the day.  It wasn’t that exciting, sadly.  But we got home before 9:00, so that was nice!
• Today: crazy
• Last night, I didn’t sleep that well.  *sigh*
• Classes all day, then grad school.  And I really need to get some grading done for Comp.  We’ll see what happens, though!

Yesterday, I was very productive, but my day was not really interesting in any way.  Therefore, I have nothing to share with all of you, so I thought I would post some pictures of my Dad’s party from last Saturday.  Here we go…

This is my mom, sister (kdelayne) and me.  Eric took the picture.  Apparently, I didn’t get the memo…

Holly loves to sit on her Papa’s lap.  When she’s tired, she will sit like this, holding a doll, a stuffed animal, and a soft blanket.  She’s just so dang cute!

Karen and Erik brought Maggie down with them.  She’s a puggle.  Maggie, that is….not Karen.

Kelly was allowed to take pictures with the remote Eric bought for our camera.  She thought it was great, and he like that she didn’t have to hold our new camera!  Notice that she didn’t “hide” the remote!

And finally, the adorable world of dress-up at Gramma’s house!

Okay, so the title’s a bit corny, but I decided that today’s post is going to be a tribute to my utterly wonderful husband.  So here goes…

• My husband is just a fabulous person overall.  He is very intelligent and funny.  He is very handy and makes my life so much easier.  He balances out my craziness because he’s pretty calm and laid-back (I add spice to his otherwise-boring life!).  He is dedicated to God, me, church, work.  I can depend on him and trust him.  And I very much love that guy!
• The other day we hiked the trail with the little bridge on which Eric asked me to marry him.  We haven’t been on the bridge since that day.  What great memories it brought back!
• Eric has been absolutely wonderful recently.  He has been purposely (I can tell) attentive to me.  He asks if there’s anything he can do for me.  Even when there’s not, the question definitely makes my day. 
• For the last couple of weeks, my busy-ness was making me incredibly tired (well, busy-ness and not enough sleep!).  So my husband has made sure, as often as he can, that I get to bed at a decent time.  It’s nice, sometimes, to be taken care of!
• On Monday, when I came in from grad school after my 1.25 hour drive from Dayton, he had swept the kitchen floor for me.  Now I had asked him to do that much, but on top of that chore, he had also cleaned the kitchen counters, tidied the rest of the house and wiped up the bathroom that the girls had used all weekend. He’s so dang helpful!

Yup…I have a pretty great guy.  I am more glad I married him every day!

Another Monday down…and it was pretty good, overall. 

• I finally got a TA for Basic English (Caitlyn), and her help made a huge difference.  She answered questions for me so that I could spend a bit more time with the really struggling children.  At the end of class, she commented that it was difficult to look at the screen and know the answer to their question, but then have to think of the best way to explain it to them.  Yep…that’s exactly the challenge of teaching. 
• Karen called in the afternoon, so I chatted with her all the way to Dayton and while I ate my dinner before class. 
• Grad school was less boring yesterday, though we did spend over half the class trying to workshop everyone’s draft of the homework assignment.  Apparently, having already earned one MA and teaching for 5 years, I am much more prepared for grad work than some of the class.  Thus, I’m going to have to work a lot on my attitude and patience and loving the people instead of just doing the work.  Sadly, those are three of my weakest areas…go figure!
• I got home just before 10 pm last night.  Eric and I watched a television show he wanted to watch.  It wasn’t great, so I doubt we’ll be watching it again.  Then we went to bed.
• I wish I had a more exciting post for you all.  Sorry.  *sigh*

Happy Monday, all!

The weekend was busy and tiring, which also meant that I was having trouble with a bad attitude about pretty much everything.  But Eric was very gracious and helpful, and he made sure I got a good night’s sleep last night, so today I’m doing much better!

We hosted the girls from our church on Friday night and Saturday.  We were told to expect them around 10 pm on Friday, but they didn’t get there until almost 11:00 (they stopped for McD’s).  So we were up until almost midnight getting them all situated.  Then they started showering at 6 am which woke me up (the hall bathroom is on our bedroom wall).  I fell back asleep until 7:20 and then again until 8:30.  They were gone by then, so we had the house to ourselves for the day. 

I worked on grad school stuff most of the day.  Then we had a party for my dad’s birthday in the evening.  Eric got some fun pictures, as always. Sadly, the link I tried to put in wasn’t working, so I’ll try to get that working later.

We left about 8:30, expecting the girls to be at the house when we arrived (we gave the leader a key), but they didn’t get there until about 10:00.  Then the parents of one girl brought over cake and ice cream for her birthday, so we were up until after 11:00 again. 

Sunday morning came pretty early (I get up at 6:45 on Sundays), but we survived.  I should’ve done more work on Sunday afternoon, but I had watched a video of the Christmas program we’re supposed to be doing, and I was very frustrated with it (it’s really cheesy/corny, which I hate).  So Eric and I went for a long walk at a metropark. I was in a much better mood after that.  Then it was time to get ready for small group, which thankfully got done early.  So I had time to prepare for today (my long day) and still get to bed just after 9 pm.  Love that!