These are the things that are on my mind today. 

Minivans – It’s a bit confusing, but it’s also stressing me out a bit.  And no, we aren’t buying one.  There’s a missionary family coming to CU to drop off their son next week.  They have no transportation while there here, and no connections to CU other than that their son is starting there this fall.  They are supported by a WY church where a friend of mine (a CU grad) used to go.  The pastor’s wife asked Ghena if she knew anyone at CU.  She only knows me.  SO now I’m really frustrated by the difficulty of trying to help this family find a ride to/from the airport and a minivan for 5 people and all their luggage for a week at the busiest time of the year in C-ville.  I totally  understand that they can’t rent one (vans are $400-500 for a week…I checked).  I’ve been praying really hard about it because I just don’t know what to do.  I know God can provide something, but it’s just hanging over my head and stressing me out.

Eureka – We watched episode 2 of season 3 last night.  I really like that show.  I even dreamed about it last night. But for some reason, they decided to do a TON of product placement all for this men’s deodorant.  So it’s “woven” into the show (not very well) and then at least one commercial per break is for this product as well.  I don’t like it at all.  I want my show back the way it was.

Peanut Butter – I guess Eric’s co-worker was trying to be helpful, but I didn’t really need the help.  Eric forwarded me, last week, this article about how some Dutch study thinks there’s a link between eating peanut butter while pregnant and the likelihood of a child developing asthma.  They warn that there’s an increased risk for even 1 daily serving of PB.  Um…I’ve been doing 1-2 servings a day for the last 10 weeks.  And now, I worry every time I have the stuff.  I hate that I can’t shake the story.  I hate that my control-freak nature has latched onto this idea to fill its needs to be in charge of something.  I realized last night (about 3 am) that, of course, lots of it is my fear of failure (ie, my kids have some sort of “issues” = I’m a bad mother) which does give some perspective.  But as easy as it is to just say “I won’t worry about this anymore,”  it’s much  harder to actually do.

So this is where my mind is today.  I know I’m not exactly managing Is. 26: 3 (mind is steadfast, trusts in You) at this moment, and therefore I have no peace.  But that’s where it is anyway.  I really need to get a grip…

As far as the day’s agenda…I have two loads of laundry and some ironing to finish.  I also need to do a little more reorganizing in my closet and dresser drawers so that I have room for more maternity clothes.  And I probably should start on canning apple stuff so that the bags of apples Eric and his grandpa picked on the weekend don’t go bad.  But we shall see…

Happy Wednesday!

Resignation
    I didn’t get a chance to post about anything yesterday, but since you all were wondering, I thought I’d answer some of your concerns.  I actually resigned about 3 weeks ago; I just never mentioned it on Xanga.  It was certainly bittersweet: I like my colleagues and parts of my job a lot.  But it was the right thing to do – for CU and my family.  I did shed some tears, especially while writing the letter and right before hitting the ‘send’ button.  But since that day, I’ve really had no regrets. 
    Generally, the hardest part has been that for almost 10 years, I’ve defined myself as “professor of college freshman” or “writing teacher” and now I’m shifting that moniker to “mother of twins.”  I just don’t know what “mother of twins” actually means or entails.  So the vagueness of my new direction has been the most disconcerting part.  Oh well…I’m sure I’ll figure out my new job description pretty quickly one of the these days!
     So yesterday, I met with a colleague who is taking over my Basic English class (she was hired just last year and is perfect for this responsibility…another confirmation!) and finished boxing up my office.  I got everything out and sorted.  My dad and brother showed up and moved it all to my car (where it still is!), and though I was aware of the moment’s potential for nostalgia…I didn’t even feel like being emotional about it (another confirmation!).  And, about 6:45, I made it home for the grilled steak dinner I told Eric to start while I drove.  Yummy!

Reluctance
    So our next door neighbors are moving out.  They were one of the only two couples on the cul-de-sac who were still the original owners.  They’ve built a house in Dublin.  And I’ve been trying to figure out how best to say goodbye.  We liked having them as neighbors (and they seemed to enjoy us), but we never really connected in such a manner that we could easily witness to them or where doors opened onto spiritual things.  I’m really, really bad about that sort of thing.  But I’m praying to get better.
    So yesterday on my morning walk, I realized that I couldn’t really do a lot of ‘witnessing’ to them now, but maybe I could do something else, even a little something.  I still needed to do something to thank Dani for the maternity clothes (she gave me more yesterday!), so I bought a little $10 Walmart gift card, and put it, a note, and a copy of Lucado’s The Gift for all People in a bag for her.
    And then I almost couldn’t make myself give it to her.  Why is it that I am so incapable of making even the smallest gesture towards an unsaved person?    All I could think was, “What if she hates me for including the book? What if I make her mad and ruin any open door that I did have?”  So I hesitated to go outside and give her the bag.  I balked, even though I’d prayed all day that they would still be there when I got home (I wasn’t sure when their last day in the house was).  And finally, I just walked next door and dropped it off.  And didn’t make a big deal of any of it.  We chatted, she brought over more clothes for me, and then she headed back home. 
     I don’t know what she’ll think of or do with the book.  But it’s a gift book.  It’s supposed to be given away.  So if she throws it out…I can’t do much about it.  But maybe it’ll get shoved in a box and someday rediscovered right when it’s truths are needed most.  Who knows?  I just know that my reluctance to actually reach out to people is something about myself that I really want God to change.

Recap

And finally, a quick weekend update since I didn’t post one yesterday:

• Friday – cleaned the house, made cookies, packed an overnight bag (after Eric moved all the stuff so I could get a bag out to use) and drove to the farm.  There was a bad accident on I70 eastbound, so we drove around the city on I270.  We got back to I70, drove about 5 miles east and were diverted off the interstate (before leaving the Columbus suburbs) by another accident that shut the highway down.  So we took some back roads in Pickerington and got back on 70 at Pataskala, then drove the rest of the way to the farm without incident.
• Saturday – Eric played farmer all day (picked apples with his grandpa, chased cows who’d escaped, and mowed hay in the big tractor).  He totally enjoyed his day!  I hung out with Pam, my MIL.  We ran errands and visited her parents so they could see my big belly.  We stayed for dinner, went for a short drive afterwards, and then came home.
• Sunday – Communion at church…lovely service!  Then home, dinner, and my parents stopped by in the afternoon to bring me a new porch swing that my dad had built for me.  My previous one (made by my grandfather) was of poor quality and was disintegrating.  My new one is fan.tas.tic!  I love it!!  After my parents left, we went to the grocery store, then relaxed for the rest of the evening!

Happy Tuesday!

Very quick post…

I just realized I hadn’t posted this morning.  Oops!  It is unlikely I’ll get much posting done today anyway.

I’m working in my office at CU today.  I’m actually cleaning it out.  I resigned my teaching position a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to close up shop before someone else was assigned my office!  So I have lots of packing/boxing to do.  But don’t worry, my dad is stopping by after work to move everything to my car.  I have too many books for me to do much of lifting myself!

The weekend was very, very good, but I’ll update the specifics later.

Happy Monday!

I suspect it will be a pretty quiet Xanga day today.   Honestly, that’s okay because I really don’t have a lot to blog about today.

Mostly, this week has been about getting to and recovering from the ultrasound on Wednesday.  The aftermath has been quite interesting, really.

• Emotionally, I was absolutely drained on Wednesday afternoon.  I had known that I was stressing about Wednesday’s ultrasound and what they would find, but I didn’t realize how much until it was over.  Then I was just tired.  So I called people, sat on the couch and let myself recover.
• It’s amazing how much my perspective about the babies has shifted now.  It’s so much easier to think of them as real, as real people, than it was before.  I’d seen them on ultrasounds 3 different times before Wednesday, but something about that one, the good news, and knowing their genders has made the idea of parenting, the idea of children come alive. 
• I’m glad we found out what they are.  I need time to prepare, and I was struggling to know how to start. Now I feel like I can really make a plan and get it done before there is a great danger of them arriving.  Of course, they may still jump the gun, but even that idea is less stressful to me right now.  I guess, as Terri noted, I needed to get my ‘chill’ back.
• Picking a baby name is freakin’ hard.  Picking two seems impossible.  I have an unusual name.  I know how hard that can be for a kid.  My name also rhymes with lots of things.  Another set of lessons learned.  As a book I was flipping through reminded parents: Names are for life; choose well and wisely.  But when you’re looking through a book of 25, 60, or 75,000 names…it’s a hugely daunting task.  (BTW – we don’t plan on sharing the names we choose until they’re born…just in case you were wondering.)

So those are some thoughts from the last couple of days.  Just thought I’d share.

As for today, we are heading to the farm for a couple of days when Eric gets home tonight.  So I need to do some prep work for that.  Should be a relaxing weekend, for the most part, although my in-laws do not have A/C and it’s going to be HOT this weekend.  Hopefully, I won’t melt away out there!

Anyway, happy Friday!  Enjoy your weekends!

SO yesterday, we had our first level-2 ultrasound at the hospital.  They took 110 pictures of my insides and the babies, and here are the results:

• I have a “cervix of steel” according to the nurse.  Eric was so proud.  But it is good and thick, which means those babies aren’t going anywhere for a good long while!

• Both babies are developing normally.  They liked what they saw in their brains, their hearts, and the rest of their development.

• Both babies are very acrobatic at the moment: flipping, kicking, flailing a bit.  I still don’t feel them much, but from the pictures, I can’t imagine it will be long now!

• AND…since you’re all dying to know…Baby A weighs 9 oz. and Baby B weighs 11 oz.  Good sizes for both!

Oh, and here are some pictures for you, too!

Baby A (Righty):
(A face looking down from the top and two little feet)

Baby B (Lefty):
(a little profile and one foot with all its toes!)

Oh, and did I forget to mention that Baby A is our boy and Baby B is our girl?

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday

Sadly, I awoke this morning to another (smaller) ant battalion on my counter.  Apparently they decided to come up through a different crack in the caulking.  I guess traps or something are going to have to come into play before they give up on my kitchen entirely.  I was also annoyed to realize that they’d made it to my kitchen island, with my help!  So I spent the first half-hour of the morning cleaning my kitchen up.  I guess it makes for a productive day, but still!

Last night was the return of one of our favorite shows – Eureka!  It’s on the Sci-Fi channel, and we are very happy to have it back.  It’s one of the few shows we will watch every week.  So fun!!

EDIT: Also, Eric says that this link should now work if you want more pictures of me, the nursery or the babies. END EDIT

And lastly, some pictures for you to enjoy.

Me at 15 weeks (end of June).

Me last night at 19 weeks (the yellow wall behind me is the newly-painted nursery, btw)

Well, I slept better last night.  Thankfully.  I also figured out how my hands keep falling asleep (especially the left one) when I wasn’t sleeping on them. Apparently, at night I’ll slip them under my belly for support (sometimes without my knowing it…last night I was purposely NOT doing that!), and then the weight of the babies puts my hand to sleep.  Sheesh!  It has been a bit disconcerting to keep waking up in the wee-hours to the feeling that I’m wearing Mickey Mouse gloves.  Perhaps a pillow would be better support…

Yesterday, I stayed home all day.  But I was fairly productive.  I cleaned all the spider webs off our front porch and around our front door.  It was just getting gross!  I also made bread (in the bread maker) to go with dinner, but then we ended up having something different for dinner than I’d planned.  So the bread will probably be cracked open today instead.  I made and received a couple of phone calls (that actually had purpose to them!), and I seem to have successfully (and without chemicals) eliminated my ant problem from the weekend!  WooHOO!

Today’s agenda must involve a small grocery run.  My grocery budget is horrendously overspent this month, but with two more days to go, I’m running out of important things (milk, bread, yogurt), stuff I eat regularly during the day.  So I must ruin my budget a bit further.  However, I decided to try an experiment for August.  Yesterday, I made a tentative meal list for the entire month and then figured out what groceries would be required to make all of those meals, dividing them between the first half and second half of the month.  So now I have a two-column list (which is surprisingly short) that should keep me (I hope) a little closer to budget while still putting food on the table.  We shall see…

Last night Eric cleaned some carpets in the upstairs.  I read a book and offered moral support.  And as I had slept very poorly the night before, I went to bed to read/unwind about 9 p.m.  It was quite a lovely evening, really!

Okay, that’s about it, I think.  Happy Tuesday!

Monday Morning Bullet Points

As I didn’t sleep very well last night, I don’t really feel like trying to remember stuff in order, so here are the snapshots…

• This week, I am 19 weeks pregnant.  I’ll try to get a picture up for you ladies in the near future.

• I woke up on Saturday morning to another ant attack.  This time, there were teeny-tiny reddish brown ants crawling in a ring around my sink.  I realized they were coming up from around the caulking at the back of the sink.  So I spent the first hour of my Saturday killing ants before I cleaned, washed, and wiped down my entire kitchen.  Grrrr!

• Saturday afternoon, we spent a couple of hours with a couple who had twins last December.  Very informative!

• Both sets of parents were here some this weekend.  My parents stopped by briefly on Saturday night; Eric’s parents came for a few hours yesterday.  It’s fun to spend time with family.  Especially when they come to me!

• Sunday’s sermon was about who Jesus is.  It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before, but what a great reminder that we really can (and should) just stand in awe of who He is and what He does for us.  It’s far too easy to let Jesus become ‘old hat’ instead of reveling in his majesty.

• Standing in church is one of the hardest things about being pregnant for me.  The slope of the floor is murder on my poor, stretched-out abdominal muscles.  I’m wondering if I’ll even make it to the 3rd trimester before I will have to stay seated for much of the service.  Sheesh!

• I’ve recently joined the world of pregnancy heartburn.  Tomato products seem to make the back of my throat just burn.  *sigh*  But at least it waited this long to start!

• One of the best things about my nephew is how is little face just lights up when he sees me.  And he’ll just squeal happily when I talk to him.  It just makes my day!

• My husband is downright fantastic (in case I haven’t mentioned this recently).  He made dinner on Friday night (just pizza, but I didn’t have to do it!), watered all the plants, finished painting the nursery (he hates painting), and spent as much time as I wanted to sitting on the couch.  What a guy!

• Eric mentioned yesterday that, while he won’t be too upset with the genders of the babies, his preference would be (in this order): boy/boy, boy/girl, girl/boy, girl/girl. 

Okay, I think that covers the basics.  Happy Monday!

I actually have some real thoughts in my head today, but as I’m leaving for C-ville in a few minutes, I don’t think I have time to elaborate them.  Suffice it to say that my thoughts relate to focus, a familiar bible story, and my own concerns about how to productively fill the next 4-5 months without melting away from boredom.  I need purpose in my life again!!

Yesterday, I did finally manage to get a gallon of paint.  This time a cute little old man was working the paint counter.  We chatted while he mixed my paint.  Also, I think the paint matching devices they now have are way cool!  I just put my little sample in the machine and it pulled up the closest match.  And it’s pretty darn close!  I could hardly tell the difference.  Last night, Eric painted one coat over the entire stencil border and one whole wall.  It’s amazing how dingy a yellow wall can get after 5 years and how quickly a fresh coat of paint will brighten it right back up!

I was going to clean my kitchen and sweep the kitchen floor yesterday, but just as I finished loading the dishwasher, Michelle called me!  We chatted for a good long time, and as a result, my floors are still filthy.  I guess I’ll have to work on that later. Maybe tomorrow.

Okay, well, I have to run.  Happy Friday!

Eric didn’t get up until 7:05 today.  He usually finishing his shower at that time.  It was nice to sleep in, but it was a bit odd.  This morning when we prayed together, he specifically asked for things to do at work today.  I guess he’s really bored this week…never fun.  Poor guy!

I have a new favorite thing.  Yesterday I went to Babies R Us to do some looking around (specifically at cribs, gliders, car seats and stroller options).  Once the time comes to do some registering, I think I’ll pretty much know what I want.  But, before I left, I ran over to the maternity section and found a support belt.  It was $15.  It’s a wide elastic band with some velcro.  I figured, for 15 bucks, it was worth taking home and trying it out.  If it didn’t work, I could bring it back.  So I bought it.  And put it on.  And it is fan.tas.tic!  My belly has been really stretching recently and pulling in odd ways.  It’s gotten a lot more painful.  Just a 4-inch band of elastic makes a HUGE difference.  I could stand up and walk upstairs without pain.  I had a lot more energy last night. WOW!  Best $15 I’ve spent in a long time!

I loved the cooler temperatures and lower humidity yesterday.  I turned off the A/C and opened the windows.  It was just lovely!  The breeze kept the house comfortable.  I hope it stays this way for a day or two!

I realized yesterday that I must find something productive to fill my time.  I had very little to do yesterday (thus the trip to the baby store), and today isn’t looking much more pressured.  I’m sure I’ll miss this time in a few months, but I’m much more the type that thrives on activity.  At least SOME activity.  So we’ll have to see what I come up with for today…

And finally, something funny for all of my English-type friends out there.  Eric showed me this video yesterday.  I was amused.  Enjoy!

Happy Thursday!