So it’s 2010. Or 0-10. Or 2KX, as Eric said the other day (you know, 2+K (for a thousand)+X (the Roman numeral for 10).
Of course, I’m 5 days late writing anything about the turn of the year, really, but my in-laws have dial-up, so blogging at their house isn’t really possible. And yesterday I was finding my house again. And well, it’s already the fifth of January.
Man, times flies these days.
Anyway, I’m not sure I have a lot to say on the subject of the new year. 2009 was a blur of sleepless nights and baby milestones. But more than that, it was sort of a meandering year. Unfocused.
Eric and I had a really good talk on New Year’s Eve (around 9 pm, shortly before we went to bed) about how it was a good year and all, but how we both feel sort of purposeless. Not that I’m discounting my role as a mommy. That’s not what I’m talking about. Nor do I mean the somewhat mundane realities of being a SAHM: the laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc.
I really have just felt, for a long time, that I have no idea where I’m going anymore. I’m not in academia anymore (and don’t really intend to go back), and that gave me something to work toward for a long time. Eric felt the same way. He doesn’t really have the drive and passion for his job that he once had. Our church home hasn’t really felt like home for a while either. But neither of us really have a sense for the direction God wants us to go or do or be.
Of course, I’ve also been really lax on my bible reading and prayer time the last year. And my normally type-A personality has not really returned since the babies were born. So I’ve felt like I’m floundering a bit.
And, even though I’m not one to make resolutions, I think I’ll just start at those two things. Retrain myself to be diligent in my time with God and in taking care of my house and kids. I’m working on creating a chore list for myself (daily, weekly, etc) since I tend to work best from lists (I love crossing things off!). And I’m using a neat website I stumbled across the other day to help me take the time to read Scripture on a daily basis again.
And hopefully, 2010 will the year where God opens up a new and wonderful direction for my family. Happy Tuesday!
wow, i know exactly how you feel and am feeling really similarly. ben hates his job and the commute is really wearing on both of us – a cross-town commute didn’t seem so bad before we had a baby! now, that extra time seems so much more valuable.
we left our church right before bennett was born and church hunting has been so hard. i know we are both longing to be part of a church family, but we just don’t know where we are supposed to be. it’s discouraging.
2010 will be better!!
Isn’t amazing how easy it is for us to end up in a place where we have little focus and seem to be just drifting? You have picked two great ways to work on that. The first is the key to being able to discern changes God may have for you and your family. The second brings order to your life and it is always easier to make changes in your life when there is an orderly base to start with. Trusting God to do great things in your life this year! Praying!
I like 2KX! Good luck with your resolutions. I’ll be making time for things that are important to me, too. Peace!
I know how you’re feeling and I’ll be praying that God shows you the way He wants you to go. Just keep trusting and He’ll be faithful to lead you.
Amen!