Monthly Archives: July 2014

Confessions

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I let my kids play in the pouring down rain the other day. Timmy, Megan, & Alex splashed in the puddles, ran around, went tearing down the hill to jump into the puddles. They fell down in the mud. I’m pretty sure Timmy ate some mud. Megan threw some mud at the back of my van (she got scolded for that one). I stood under the umbrella and took pictures while mosquitos bit me.

I do not enjoy bedtime. I despise brushing teeth. I get so tired of trying to read a Bible story that no one really listens to. I read a story a while back about a mom dying of cancer and she would drag herself, literally crawl, up the stairs just to do bedtime with her kids because she loved it that much. And everybody was commenting how we should all be that kind of mom. Well, I’m not sure what I would do if I were dying of cancer, but I don’t think bedtime is the only place for really connecting with my kids. And for me, it’s not even remotely the best place.

I have been a huge grump this week. I’m blaming heat and hormones. But seriously…it’s been less than pretty.

Eric told me he got the “you’ve used 70% of your internet allotment” email last night.  Somehow, we’ve used 10 gigs in 10 days, and our internet doesn’t reset until Aug. 12. I nearly cried. I hate, hate, hate having a set internet limit. I know it’s just a convenience. I know it’s a first-world problem. But it’s the number one thing about living out here that I struggle with. And there’s absolutely nothing that can be done about it.

I’ve tried the last few days to spend more time with my kids. Okay, to be honest, I’ve had no choice because Eric’s started tearing down the old house on the property and I can’t leave Timmy outside unattended. So if the bigs are out, he wants to be out, and I have to be there, too. But still, I’ve tried to play more games and last night, I even ran through the sprinkler a bit, too. I don’t play all the time because 1. I firmly believe that my kids need not to depend on me to think of entertainment for them and 2. I just don’t enjoy hours of card games with preschoolers. And I think that’s okay because I am their mom, not their playmate. But still, it’s probably good to do things with them more.

The twins start kindergarten in less than a month. And it’ll be a huge change for us. Definitely bittersweet. But honestly, they’re ready for it. I’m ready for it. I love my kids. I’m so glad to be a mom. I’m really grateful I can stay home with them. But I am OVER the all-four-are-preschoolers stage. Four kids in four years and all still at home. I know I’ll miss the big 2 during the day, but I am looking forward to their new challenges. I’m looking forward to having only 2 to focus on or take places. I’m looking forward to the tiniest hope of a few minutes in which I might not be interrupted continuously. Of course, ask me all this again in a month and it might be a different story. But for right now…I’m looking forward!

My kids are horribly wasteful. They leave so much food uneaten at every meal. They are not good about taking care of their toys (despite reminders, warnings, and even losing said toys). They are definitely little consumers, and I am totally at a loss for helping them be better about it. *sigh*

We are still using the We Choose Virtues program, and I LOVE it! They totally get it. It gives me an incredibly helpful vocabulary to address our situation. And it provides great opportunities to intentionally introduce important topics. Like this week’s virtue: vocabulary. One of the prompts talked about how forgiveness is about mending a broken relationship, which totally opened up to our needing forgiveness from God to mend our broken relationship with Him. I don’t know if they totally got it, but I love that we had the opening. It’s a start!

I am both really excited and really nervous about building our house. We close on our mortgage loan this week and will soon break ground. But man, the overwhelming reality of the whole thing…it’s gonna be a crazy 6 months (or longer). And the desire to build not just the prettiest, most expensive house we can, but a house that is functional and useful and that we intentionally lay at Jesus’s feet for his use. That’s a hard balance to find. And of course we’re planning to live in the double-wide while we build right outside the back door – yikes! How I’m going to manage the kids in a construction zone…very worrisome!

I’ve got a lot on my mind this way. Some days I’m a “good”mom. Some days I just let my kids watch TV and play on screens (Timmy has a horrible addiction already). But more than that…People hurting. Really hurting. My uncle who was fine in June and a month later is dying of cancer. Literally that fast. My own isolation and exhaustion and loneliness. My friends’ griefs and individual craziness. So many people who are struggling financially, emotionally. Our church family. And my wishing and wanting to find joy. Real joy.

Life is not easy. And it’s okay to admit that. No easy answers. Just a big God whom I’m choosing to trust and trying to follow. And trying to keep it real. With my kids and with Eric and with myself and with God.

And now…off to another day.

Y’all Gotta Try This!

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So I don’t usually do product plugs, but y’all…this one has been A.maz.ing.

It’s called We Choose Virtues. It’s designed to help you introduce and teach your kids to think about and live out 12 basic virtues: being Attentive, Content, Diligent, Forgiving, Gentle, Helpful, Honest, Kind, Obedient, Patient, Perseverant, Self-Controlled.

And does it work? For us, it’s a resounding ‘YES’! Here’s why…

We’ve been talking about a lot of these ideas for a long time. But I’d been wanting to be more intentional about real-life application. I wanted my kids to really understand honesty, not just what it is, but why it’s so important. I wanted to introduce the concepts of choices and consequences, of how their actions and attitudes will have results, for other people and for themselves.

But I lacked the vocabulary. I know what all those virtues are, and I could even find Bible verses to match them. But getting them into my kids’ language – that’s what I was struggling to do.

Enter We Choose Virtues. It doesn’t DO the teaching of virtues. It’s still my job to work with my kids and make each virtue come to life for them. But it gives me a vocabulary that the children (5, 5, and 3) totally understand.

Let me give an example. We started with Honest. The card gives a positive definition: “I am a truth teller.” Then it gives a negative definition: “I am NOT a liar, a thief, or a cheater, and I don’t change the truth to get my way.”

So one random Wednesday morning, I decide to give it a whirl. They listen. They love the story of Hockey Stick Nick. It prompts actual conversation about telling the truth. We think of things Nick “could have” said (lies) and then what it would sound like for him to tell his mom the truth. They totally seem to get it. I think…cool!

And within two hours, we had used the Virtue vocabulary twice more. When someone gave an answer that seemed less than true, I asked, “Are you being honest?” Immediately, they stopped making eye contact, changed their story, and we slowly worked toward the truth.

My favorite example came a few days later. Megan was boohoo-ing in my bedroom, holding a coloring page. “They told me I didn’t color it good, and they gave me a zero!” Sure enough, on the back of her page, a big circle. As soon as she said it, Erin came running with her excuse: “Well, I drew it, but it isn’t a zero. It was supposed to be a smiley face, but…um…I forgot to put the face in.” Wow…impressive cover story for a 5 year old. I nearly laughed out loud. Still, a “Are you being a truth teller?” brought a complete change. She dipped her head, dropped her eye contact, totally stuck between her story and her desire not to be caught in a lie. We dealt with the situation, but again, I was amazed. The vocabulary provided by the We Choose Values program had given me exactly the right tools to deal with the dishonesty.

That’s what this program gives you: tools. There are others similar programs out there, and they might work better for you. But this one has worked fantastically for us so far. My kids remember the definitions (before starting Patient last night, we reviewed, and they remembered all 3 of the previous ones easily). Opportunities for conversation come up daily – many, many times! I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve covered Patient just since last night, though that could be because this is a virtue I still struggle with – Ha!

Still, if you are looking for a vocabulary, this is a great option. Again, it doesn’t do the work. You have to weave the concepts into your day. But the tools have been so effective for my family that I think they can be used for similar families or situations, too.

So, check out the website: https://wechoosevirtues.refersion.com/c/af34

Each Virtue has a positive definition, a negative definition, and a character who illustrates that value. There are kids cards, parent cards, assessments, wall posters and coloring pages. The program can be done with Bible verses or without. And it’s set up for families, Sunday Schools, or even homeschool/classrooms.

And for the sake of full disclosure, that is an affiliate link, and I’ll get like 10% of whatever you buy when you use that link. BUT, please let me be clear. I am not recommending this product to get a percentage. It really has worked, and I refused to write this post until I was sure I could support the program without reservation (I bought it a couple of months ago).

I truly do believe this program is worth your money. So check it out if you’re interested, but no worries if you don’t buy anything. If you have questions, let me know. Feel free to start small (I bought the Family Pack). But so far, I have been most impressed, and I have been better prepared to parent my kids in the way they need to go because of the tools this program offers.