So I am pretty much a scaredy cat. I have been since I was a little kid.

Before I was 7, I learned the song “Found a Peanut.” It was rotten, you know, and the person dies and goes to heaven. And I remember lying awake at night fretting over how I would know if a peanut was rotten just by looking at it. And, I kid you not, I did not eat peanuts for years afterwards because of it. Yep…scaredy cat. To this day, I can imagine all sorts of things coming out of the shadows at me (mummies scared me as a little kid, now it’s more like robbers in the house), and the shows or movies I watch have a huge effect on my ability or inability to get my rational side back in control when I wake up at 3 am.

And it turns out…my little dude has a mind that works just like mine in this area. 

He is very easily scared these days. He’s got a whole list of things that he calls “scary” and he will stubbornly refuse to function if one of those things interrupts his life. 

Like our neighbors’ halloween decorations. The primary offender is a couple of doors down – a white “scream” mask with a long black fabric “body” that they hang above their garage and it blows in the wind for the entire month of October. Bad enough, until I realized a few months ago (long after Halloween) that Alex was refusing to walk by their house when the garage door was open because it was hanging inside and you can see it. He was so scared of the seed pods in the honey locust tree (I think) next door that he wouldn’t walk down the sidewalk without me holding his hand. There was a large fan hanging on the wall of the shop at the farm (he would not go in until Eric took it off the wall). Then there were the two red lights that represented the dragon in his cave at VBS a couple of weeks ago (it never actually appeared) + its loud roar sent my son into a massive fit. And the sculpture outside of the swimming place was the most recent “scary thing” that was brought to my attention. 

I never know what or where something will strike him as scary. And while he often doesn’t freak out at the time, he tends to hold it in mind and dwell on it at bedtime. So he has trouble falling asleep, though once he’s out, he’s usually good for the night.

Then last night happened. For the first time ever, he was so scared by an early dream (at 9:30 he called me in to tell me his pillow was growing a big green “rumor weed”) that he couldn’t settle down to sleep. He was back up at 10:30 and then for the entire midnight hour, wanting me to sit with him because “everything in the house” was scary. His nightlight, the recliner in their room, the ceiling fan…all kept his little mind imagining things that weren’t there, and he could not get to sleep. 

So far, I’m only barely ahead of him. I know what works to get my mind out of scared mode, but translating those things down to a 3-year-old’s level is difficult. I don’t want to blow him off, but I don’t want to make it worse either. And at midnight when I just want to go back to sleep, it’s hard to think of how to help him.

Usually, we talk about our F verse (“Fear not, for I am with you.” ) and how Jesus is with us so we don’t have to be afraid. Then we pray about whatever is bothering him. That didn’t really work last night. I tried comforting, doing nothing, pointing out the reality instead of what he was imagining. Nothing worked (and it was midnight, remember). Finally, I tried a thankful approach. “Don’t be anxious, but in everything…with thanksgiving…” is sometimes the only way to get my mind off the freak-out track. So in a last-ditch effort, I started praying with him a long list of thank-you’s. I would say “Thank you, Jesus, for (something)”; then he would repeat it.  It took about 10 minutes, but he finally managed to drift off and slept the rest of the night. 

Still, I am not sure how else to help my little dude. So many things scare him. It’s a difficult reality to help him address. So seriously, if you’ve dealt with similar stuff, I’d love to hear some suggestions of what you’ve done with your little ones. 

Anyway, I guess that’s all for today. 

So…here’s a quick update of all the things we are currently done with or close to done with…

1. VBS

We finished VBS a couple of weeks ago. I’m finally starting to recover completely. But it was a good week, and I’m always grateful for the impact on my kids. Obviously, I love to see how the seeds of God’s Word are planted in their hearts. But I’m also always amazed at the totally different kids who come back to my house at the end of the week. They are more social, more interactive, more verbal (I swear Megan has been using full sentences since VBS), and they have learned to deal with the world a little bit more without my immediate presence – such a huge blessing! 

2. Sickness

Thankfully, we are finally back to full health around here. We picked up Hand Foot and Mouth either from VBS or something right before it. Either way, though, I just about died. For four straight days, one of my children felt great, one of them felt totally horrible, and one was somewhere in between. They just swapped roles every day. So it was a constant drain of trying to entertain the healthy one while simultaneously doctor the sick ones. Ugh! The primary result was that I got worn down and cranky (complete with epic mom fail on Wednesday night), so I am very, very happy that we are currently all healthy and happy and sleeping through the night (mostly). 

3. Farm fun

I was also so very, very happy that my MIL volunteered to take all 3 of my kids overnight on Friday. She picked them up that morning, and they hung at the farm all day and night. And boy do they love the farm!

Without them underfoot, I cleaned my house a lot, and we had a date on Friday night (dinner out and The Avengers – good times!) before heading out to join them on Saturday, coming home together on Sunday. Eric got some stuff done that he wanted to do. And I mostly did nothing of any value. Worked for me!

4. Swim Class

We are halfway through our first-ever foray into “taking a class,” and the twins are LOVING it. They are doing pretty well, though it’s so funny to watch what their little 3-year-old bodies just cannot do at the same time. Like today, they were teaching them the first steps towards a backstroke, but neither twin could move their arms AND kick their feet at the same time. But it was cute to watch them try. They still don’t want to put their faces in the water, though Erin will duck herself completely under sometimes. They love wearing pool noodles to dog-paddle after rubber ducks and jumping off the side to the instructors. The only one not having the time of her life is poor Meg, who asks me about every two minutes for the entire class “my turn?” or says, “I wanna swim in da pool now.” I think I’m going to have to sign her up for a parent/child class soon, poor kid!

5. Buying a Property

When we “bought” our piece of land at Sheriff’s sale in February, we were told it would take 30 days until confirmation of sale, then 30 days for us to pay the rest of our money. No problem, we thought. But that wasn’t exactly how it happened. They needed four and a half months to finalize the confirmation of sale. Definitely a long “30 days”! But anyway, if nothing else crazy happens, we should own 7 acres of land, right next to my in-laws dairy farm, by the end of July. Finally!

6. The Family

And last, but not least, for any of you who have not yet heard, we are also putting the finishing touches on our family. That’s right…we are expecting #4 (yes, only one, praise Jesus) around the turn of the year! We’re pretty excited about it, obviously. I’m about 12 weeks along this week (almost 13, I think). And just because I can, here are the 8 week ultrasound pictures of our little white blob. Hooray!

Anyway, I think that’s about all the at-an-end/almost-at-an-end events of our current crazy life. Check back soon for more updates (and eventually even more Soapbox musings on my part). Happy Tuesday!

The kids are sick. I’m tired. Makes for a fun combination, as I’m sure you can guess.

We are down with Hand Foot & Mouth this week. Megan got it first. She’s still covered in the little sores, but her fever broke last night and she’s starting on the upswing. Erin got a fever on Sunday morning (She was fine when I left to teach Sunday school, when I came back at 11, she had a 102 degree fever. Glad I kept them all home!). She’s got worse sores than Meg’s were, but she can express herself better so she’s not as irritable as poor Meg has been. And just tonight, Alex had a low-grade fever when he went to bed. So I suspect he’ll be down for the count tomorrow. 

So yeah…3 sick kiddos + one tired Momma + one unbelievably helpful Daddy + God’s strength and grace = survival. But needless to say, I will be glad to see the end of this virus as soon as possible!

(Though on the positive side…it’s not a stomach bug! ‘Cause that would be bad. Seriously. )

Anyway, I’ll be back again soon with happier stories to share. But until then…off to bed I go. 

Happy Monday!

We are definitely loving VBX (that’s what Erin calls it). The kids…seriously…are having a blast! I so appreciate the ladies who are working in the rooms with my kids – they are doing more good than they will ever know. 

Megan was moved to the 2-year VBS class because of space issues (she’s 20 months), and while she’s definitely not up to that level in some ways (they usually carry her places because she can’t follow along with the group), I know she’s having a blast. Our good friend is teaching the 2s this year, so that is a huge part of her success, I know. But still, it’s fun to hear her learn her verses (“belt oh trooff”! she says) and be so proud of her crafts. And oddly, by the time nap is over, I really miss her. She’s quite a character to have around, so being in a different room all morning, then going straight to naps when we get home, means I don’t get nearly my usual dose of Megan. Oh well…it’s good for all of us, I suspect.

As for me…I’m running a nursery room this week. Loving it is probably not the most accurate description, but the kids are cute, and it’s still the kind of “help” for VBS that I like to do. I have 3 teen girls helping me watch 11-13 kids, ages 10-22 months. There’s a roughly 8/4 boy-girl split, and my boys are the needy ones. At moments…a lot needy. And the poop factor…yikes! As I’m the only adult, I have to change every diaper. Again…yikes. But then again, their little faces just light up when you build towers for them to knock over. They love to have little books read to them, and they are all, for the most part, surviving the craziness very well.

I have one little guy with extreme allergies…and WOW has that been eye-opening. He’s so fun (just a great little personality) and I respect his momma like crazy. Having to be constantly vigilant about everything that comes near him (and trying to keep him away from every milk cup and snack the other kids are pulverizing into crumbs and dropping on the floor because he can’t have it), what an uphill battle all the time. Truly, I had no idea. So if your kids have allergies – wow – you rock! Because man, I didn’t even know how much I have to be thankful for that my kids are not allergic to anything. Just this little taste of her world is opening my eyes. Wow!

So, that’s where we are at the halfway point. We have two more days of VBS and then a day of birthday party/Father’s Day stuff, then church, then reality again. Sometime in there I need to get gifts/cards and actually look over my sunday school lesson for this week. I have to find a way to cover “God makes things grow” without wanting to beat my head against a wall. This is a lesson that doesn’t have a Bible story attached, just a Psalm that it’s “based on” – so it’s hard to connect it well to the kids without just going “…and flowers grow and kids grow and babies grow and everything grows – and God makes them grow!” See…gotta find a better in than that for sure!

Anyway, I guess that’s all I’ve got for now. Happy Wednesday!

We are in the middle of a whirlwind week. 

I spent most of last week prepping VBS stuff during nap time and whenever else I could. Set-up started at 3 in the afternoon on Sunday (yesterday), and I needed to get everything on my list done.

Then Eric announced that his grandparents 60th wedding anniversary was on Sunday and there would be a family dinner at the farm. Um…crap.

As there was no way I was going to get my stuff done by Friday night, I ended up sending my family off without me early on Saturday morning. I stayed home and knocked out the rest of my list, cleaned up the house a bit, packed some stuff, dropped off my VBS stuff at the church so it would be there when things got started on Sunday, and headed for the farm.

I hung out, went to church yesterday morning, and after dinner and cake and ice cream, I came back by myself, heading straight for the church. I got there about 4:30, checked in my with friend who was running our rooms until I got there, and then headed off to take on the two rooms she wasn’t working on yet. We worked and organized and decorated. The first time I looked up, it was 7:45. Yikes. I worked until just before 9:00 and headed home. The kids were in bed, but barely, so I got to say goodnight and let them know that VBS started in the morning (Erin’s been begging to go for about 10 days…she was more than stoked at my announcement). Then it was bed for me and Eric, too.

This morning, I got up early. I work the nursery for VBS, watching the workers’ kids so they can be free to help the actual VBS-ers. And we have to be there 15 minutes before everyone else so they can drop their kids off. Which means that on Day 1…we have to leave the house by 8:00 am. With three kids, 3 and under. Yeah…it’s crazy. But thankfully, we made it in great time today. It started to rain while we drove, stopped while we walked in and VBS got started and then poured all morning. But it was down to a light sprinkle by the time everything was done. VBS ends at noon, so after all the workers came for their kids, we cleaned up and headed home. 

Today we got home at 1:00. We had lunch and headed straight for naps. And thankfully, tomorrow, we don’t have to be there until 8:30. Those extra 15 minutes make a world of difference, let me tell you!

But it’s definitely a whirlwind week. And then we have a family birthday party/father’s day thing on Saturday. I teach Sunday School on Sunday. And then it’s back to our regularly scheduled programming (i.e., normal life!). 

Man…maybe I need to go take a nap, too!

Happy Monday!

This has been one of those weeks that’s left me feeling like an utter and complete failure. For everything one thing I’ve managed to do well, I’ve completely screwed up at least 3 others. At least that’s how it feels. 

My sister’s friend once commented that on those days when your kids are seemingly into everything and getting into trouble from wake up to bedtime…those are the days where they are really learning. The days when everything is easy are the days when they aren’t really learning anything at all. 

If she’s right, then this week has been one long learning opportunity after another. 

And I hate it.

I’m tired of feeling behind the eight ball.

I’m tired of being so far behind in every area of my life that I may never dig my way out. 

I’m tired of being on the verge of tears every other hour. 

I’m tired of realizing that I missed yet another opportunity, screwed up yet another interaction with a person, illustrated yet again what an unloving and ungrateful heart I have.

And right now, I don’t have any words of encouragement either. I’m empty. I’ve been reading Galatians all week, but I’m in such a fog that I don’t think a word of it has sunk in. I guess I should move on to Ephesians. Or Psalms. Or something that doesn’t remind me that I also don’t have the mental energy to consider something more complex than “The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need.” (Ps 23:1 NLT).

So that’s where I am this week. I guess I’ll just try to be honestly grateful for the lessons learned and keep seeking for Jesus in the minutes of my days. 

And I’ll happily accept prayers on my behalf, too. Thanks.