Actually, I like them.  And use them.  And am just vain enough to “need” them so my hair looks decent.  

See, I have fuzzy hair.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my hair.  It’s thick with natural wave.  But it gets frizzy and fuzzy, especially in Ohio’s humidity.  Which means I need some sort of product to keep my hair calm.  

So, to be honest, I don’t really hate the products.  What I hate is how companies have to change things up.  They take perfectly good products and ruin or discontinue them. 

It is so annoying.

Like, last year, I used up the last of a Pantene styling product that I loved.  I went to get some more…couldn’t find it anywhere.  Finally, I checked the website, and sure enough, they’d totally discontinued the pomade I loved, replacing it with “products to treat damaged hair.”  I actually emailed them to ask about it and got back the most inane response: “Consumers just like you told us that our new line would work better for them.”  Well, it couldn’t have been consumers like me, because the new way doesn’t work for me.  Sheesh!

And sadly, Pantene has done this to me more than once.  Years ago, I discovered Pantene’s “smoothing” line.  It worked great!  Then, they stopped making the shampoo AND conditioner and put out only a 2-in-1 option.  Well, I can’t use 2-in-1 products because they don’t have enough conditioner for my hair.  

So, I switched to Suave.  I’ve used their smoothing products (shampoo, conditioner, creme) for a long, long time.  And now they’ve pulled a Pantene on me, too.  

A few months back, they created a “professional” line.  New packaging.  New scents for the products.  But also, less product for the same price.  And they changed the creme so that it makes my hair greasy.  That’s right…now the creme smells, costs more and doesn’t work.  Nice…

I tried going without any product other than shampoo/conditioner, but my hair has gone from greasy to frizzy.  Not nice.  So now I’m stuck looking for a new product again.  

And the irony of it is that, after doing some searching, the most likely replacement might actually be a Pantene product.  

At least until they stop making it in a year or two.  *sigh*

So we spent the weekend at the farm.  The twins LOVE it there.  They run and play and see cows and talk to grandparents and great-grandparents and ride tractors and pet dogs and play in mud puddles.  They enjoy every minute of it, and I love that we have a place like that to go to.  We are super-blessed! 

Unfortunately, Megan developed a pretty bad fever over the weekend.  She just didn’t feel well most of the time.  Of course, I hadn’t taken a thermometer with me.  But when we got home last night, her temp was just over 102.  Ibuprofen brought it down a bit, but we had a pretty bad night.  I haven’t been up that much in a single night since the twins were 5 months old!  So, we are headed to the doctor’s office this afternoon to make sure we aren’t dealing with an ear infection.  My guess is that it’s a virus of some sort, but it’s best to rule out her ears.  

I’ve already mentioned that our church’s VBS was a couple of weeks ago.  Tuesday’s lesson was about the Bible, and the kids learned to “put on their Bible glasses” and see everything through God’s Word.  Okay, so then, fast forward to Saturday.  The twins were swinging at the farm.  Suddenly, Erin puts her hands up by her eyes like binoculars and says, “I put on my Bible glasses!”  She’d never mentioned that lesson before.  But she remembered it.  They are learning so much!  Erin sings songs (Jesus Loves Me, the B-i-b-l-e, My God is so Big, and The Itsy-Bitsy Spider are her favorites).  They love to pray before bed.  Erin “read” me our book about Jonah the other day, and did surprisingly well on the details of the story.  It’s just really awesome to see them picking up spiritual truths at every turn.  I love it!

And another thing…I mentioned recently how the twins are moving super quickly into the next stages of life.  But I noticed over the weekend how often they do something significant at a time that is so frustrating or annoying for me that I almost miss them.  I really have to be paying attention, and surprisingly, I actually have been.

Like at breakfast yesterday.  Alex doesn’t answer questions well.  He says no to everything I offer, even when he really means yes.  Frustrating for him.  Frustrating for me.  But in the middle of yet another of those little dialogues, I heard him request the cereal he wanted, by name, for the very first time.  It took me a minute to realize he’s asked for “Li’ cereal” (Life), but that’s what he wanted.  He is finally learning to verbalize what he wants with real words.  It’s awesome…even though it’s totally frustrating, too.

Or last night.  For an hour, I literally walked between Megan’s and Erin’s beds.  Settle one and the other would wake up.  Settle that one, the first one would start again.  But while I was snuggling Erin at one point, it hit me.  We’ll be potty training soon.  She’ll be out of diapers (and is TOTALLY ready for that step, too).  But I realized that I may never again snuggle my “baby” Erin.  She’s my big girl now.  She’ll still need snuggling, thankfully.  But we’re really entering an entirely new stage.  So even though I was SO tired and really wanted to get back to bed, I took a minute to enjoy the feel of her on my lap, the sound of her breathing, the tightness of her grip on my arm.  And even though I’m really tired today, I’m so glad I didn’t miss that moment!

Okay, I really need to stop now and go mash up some black raspberries for jam before the little ones wake back up.  So…happy Monday!

Just needed to record some things I don’t want to forget…

At VBS last week, I volunteered to work the nursery so my kids could be in the Two-year room.  They sort of do a VBS-lite for the littles, and I wanted the twins to participate in something like that.  I was a little nervous because it was either going to be incredibly good for them…or it was going to be very, very bad.  But it was awesome.  Seriously awesome. 

• They did crafts and played games and walked in a line holding on to a little rope.  They had fun snacks and went home exhausted every day.  It was great!
• Erin actually learned her memory verse (with motions!).  She’s getting very good at repeating it when asked what the bible story at VBS was.  She points up with both hands, then circles them randomly at her waist and says “Goh made duh wohl.”  I’m working on a good video of it.  Seriously…it’s adorable!
• Most days, the Twos group went to the opening group session, but not the closing (imagine 800 kids in a lavishly decorated church auditorium…it’s loud!).  My two went from covering their eyes and ears early in the week to watching and clapping along by Friday.  So great!
• I can’t quite explain it, but it’s like the twins came back exactly the same, but totally different.  They just sort of blossomed during the week.  They’re both a little more confident, a little more verbal, a little more independent.  It’s strange, but awesome, too.  Thanks to Summer (their class leader) and the VBS crew!!

Erin is getting TONS more 2-ish.  Her most common phrases are “I do it myself” and “I don’t think so.”  She wants to put her clothes on, take them off, help set the table, pick up Megan (yikes!), and buckle herself into her carseat.  I can totally see why so many of you have warned me that 3 is worse than 2.  It’s going to take WAY more wisdom than I’ve got to help her balance her new level of independence with obeying Mommy and following the rules.  It’s going to get interesting…

Oh…we painted Erin’s toenails on Sunday for the first time.  She LOVED it!

She is totally into names right now.  She sometimes calls us Mommy Shannah and Daddy Eric which is cute, but I’m not allowing it much anymore.  The other day she announced that her brother’s name was “Alex Buddy-Bud Leon Hogue.”  It cracked us up!

And…we are starting potty training for real next week.  Actually it was going to be this week, but I accidentally double-booked us for a trip to my in-laws this weekend.  And I didn’t figure it was a good idea to travel and start potty training at the exact same time.  BUT, we are talking it up all the time (and reading books about going to the potty which Alex just LOVES), and last night, Erin actually did pee in her little green potty before bedtime.  Yay for her!

(On that note, I am going to try both of the twins at the same time.  But I’m really just giving Alex a 3-day trial.  I’m not sure he’s quite as ready as Erin.  But he might be (he’s kind of hard to read).  So I’m starting them both together.  And if he hasn’t connected with it by Day 3, I’m just going to put him back in diapers for a bit and try again in a couple of weeks. Should be interesting…)

Alex is talking up a storm these days, and it’s like he suddenly can articulate SO much more than he could even a week or two ago.  He understands us just fine, and he’s starting to get frustrated when I don’t figure out what he’s saying right away.  By the end of the summer, he’s going to be super clear.  Which will be awesome!

He isn’t demanding to do things himself, but he will do them if you offer him the chance.  Like pulling down his own pants.  He’ll happily let me do it, but he can (and will) if I take the time to let him try.  (Which I need to do more often…I’m usually in too big a hurry to “waste” time letting him try.)

That little boy is a running, climbing, wrestling little lovebug.  He gives the best hugs, and he still loves to hold hands and snuggle up close to people.  But he’s SOOOO busy.  And he loves to play in water.  He’ll sit in a bath until it’s cold and he’s wrinkled.  And thankfully, the rain has been keeping our little infant pool filled, so they have lots of water to play with.  At least as long as I can keep him from drinking it.  He has been known to lie on the ground and lap up puddles on the driveway and or drink water from the lid of our sand table.  Gross!

He laughs every time I read the potty books and have to say “bye-bye pee-pee” and “bye-bye poopy” – which makes me wonder if he is ready or just likes potty humor already.  Maybe a little of both?

He’s also a natural at numbers and technology (hmmm…his dad’s kid maybe?).  He’s figured out how to open iMovies on my computer and watch his favorite video (their 1st birthday one).  Of course, he just figured out to look for the “star” (the iMovie icon).  But still…that’s one smart little cookie (and surprisingly good with a computer mouse!). 

And of course, Megan is still getting more mobile by the second.  She sort of slowed down her forward momentum while she got good and steady standing up.  But now she’s cruising like a champ.  SO it’s only a matter of time, I suspect, before she starts trying to walk between things.  *sigh*

She is also a fiend for putting things in her mouth.  During VBS, she actually pulled off a ball from her sock and was chewing on it when the otehr ladies got it out.  Sheesh!  Even if I can keep the floors clean, she’s going to just eat her clothes.  I can’t win!

But she’s finally doing better again about sleeping through the night.  It’s not quite as assumed as it was at first, but most nights, I don’t have to get up.  Which is good for all of us.  Of course, she’s started pulling stuff into her crib if she can reach it, so I’m having to find places for all the stuff that was “in range” of her grasping little hands.  She certainly does keep me on my toes…

Okay, and that’s about all I can remember right this minute.  I’ll try to get up some pics or videos if I can figure out how to do it!  Happy Tuesday!

Blogging is good for me.  

Writing helps me get stuff out of my head.  It forces me to put words to my own issues.  And doing that helps me to understand what’s really going on.  

Like how I figured out while writing my “Frustrated Mommy” blog a while back that the real issue was my own selfishness.  Or how writing about my logistics issue let me (first) throw a little pity party for myself and (second) get a grip on it.  I was able to make some small changes that have made a big difference. 

Mostly, I remembered to choose to be the mom again.  Sounds dumb, maybe.  But I had gotten pretty selfish and lazy.  And it suddenly occurred to me as I was praying about it one morning that God had given me an assignment, for that day, to “be the mom.”  And I could choose to accept the assignment or keep on letting things just float along.  And as the floating wasn’t really working for us, I decided to step up again.  I went back to purposely being the parent of my children.  Being intentional.  Being present.  It was a little rough at first, I’ll admit, because I was out of the habit of being purposeful like that.  But I kept making the choice, one moment at a time.  And it didn’t take long for things to improve drastically.

I also realized that part of the issue was that we were super-close to my kids (the twins, in particular) moving into a new development stage.  We were dipping our toes into coming attractions (new verbal skills, new physical skills, a new social level, more independence), but we weren’t quite there.  And that in-between place is hard.  

It helped to start being purposeful about reading my Bible again.  And to hear that I was not alone, that this stuff really is a season of life, that we will survive it.  It helped me to talk it out some with Eric, too.  And I had to do some evaluation of how I was spending my time, to really think through are the right priorities for this time.

But the result is that we are better.  Not perfect.  Not on top of the logistics.  Not totally managing my crazy life as well as I would like.  But we are definitely better.  

Thank you, Jesus. (And thanks for all your encouragement, too!)

Happy Monday!

But seriously…when did they get so big?!?

Once upon a time…

Just this week…

Love my growing-so-fast twins…

I wonder sometimes what other people think of me.  Do they see me and think, “Boy, Shannah’s got her hands full. I wish I could manage my ______ (life/kids/to-do list/whatever) as well as she does”?  Or is it more, “Boy, Shannah’s got her hands full.  Why won’t she let anyone help her?”

The first part’s not really in doubt, because, let’s be honest, I have my hands full.

But the other part’s what I’m wondering about.  Not because I want to know which one people think.  But because I am struggling so badly to stay above water these days.  And I’m so aware of my every-last shortcoming right now that I am wondering how anyone could possibly think I’ve got it all together…if they actually do.  

Because I don’t.  

Now, I know…parenting is hard (duh).  And it comes in seasons (again, duh).  

But right now, I’m in a season of craziness where I am, at most, a half-step ahead of my kids.  And usually, not that much.  Managing the logistics of my family is just short of kicking my butt right now.  I don’t really know why.  I mean, I know why.  Two 2.5-year olds + one 8-month old = one crazy life.  And these days, I don’t feel like I’m handling the craziness all that well.

Eight months after Megan’s birth, I’m still trying to find a good rhythm.  I’m dreading the start of potty-training.  Megan is developing a small case of “Only Mommy Will Do.”  But mostly, it’s the logistics…

Going somewhere brand new or working on a different-than-normal schedule is terrifying for me right now because I don’t know how to plan.  And getting my little band anywhere takes planning.  Lots of it.  And other people aren’t always very good at helping me with the logistics because (not surprisingly) they don’t know what I need.  Shoot…until we get there, I don’t even know what I need. 

But the result is stress.  Lots of it.  And frustration…some of it aimed at my kids.  More of it aimed at my poor, fabulous husband for “not helping me” or “not just seeing what needs done and doing it without my asking him.”  Because (I think), why can’t he just see that it needs done, that I need help, that the logistics aren’t really working?!?  (And Eric, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry, and I love you for putting up with me.  You’re the best.)

And, too, God is showing me that the vast majority of my frustration and anxiety and anger and discouragement is really just because I didn’t get my way.  It’s selfishness, pure and simple.  I get angry at the car that cut me off…because I didn’t get to go first.  I get frustrated with my kids when they’re acting up…because they’re complicating MY life.  But I also get frustrated with them when all they want is my attention…because I don’t want to give up MY time or MY to-do list to put together a puzzle.  And I’ve already mentioned what I do to Eric…which is really all about good old ME, too.

So I’m struggling to manage my little herd.  And I’m painfully aware of my selfishness (I’m pretty sure that’s a huge reason God gives us kids in the first place, right?).  Frankly…it’s a pretty stormy season for me right now.  And I have no idea how to weather the storm.

Of course, I could start reading my Bible again.  And praying.  And walking in the Spirit.  I’m sure that would help.  You know…since not much good is going in, am I really surprised nothing good is coming out?

And I could actually surrender my selfishness and pride so that Jesus can deal with it.  

And I could ask for help from Eric, my friends, other people. 

I could start disciplining myself to do little things every day that would keep me from feeling overwhelmed by everything I need to do. 

I could probably ease up on myself over the mistakes that I make.  Deal with them.  Apologize.  But then move on.  Since it’s not really about being perfect or a perfect mom anyway.

But mostly, I think I need to start remembering, on purpose, that Jesus is the Gospel.  He really is good news for my today, for my particular storms.  He’s here with me.  So I can have hope.  And joy.  He makes all things new.  Even me.  And I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me.  For His glory. 

Because all of that would help.  It’s just a matter of doing them.  On purpose, starting today.  In fact, starting now…since I think I hear kids up from naps.  

So, on that note…happy Friday!  (And thanks for reading.)