Yesterday, I worked on laundry and cleaned bathrooms.  Both of those jobs are a bit harder on the back and hips these days, so I decided to give myself the morning off.

So we went to Kohl’s.  I found some things for Eric.  I found some things for me.  Some of them I’m very excited about!

Unfortunately, I was in the fitting room, trying on just as many shirts that didn’t fit as that did, wondering why nice-fitting maternity clothes are just so dang hard to find. 

I mean, really, why?

Do men design these things?

If women design them, have these women ever carried a baby?

I mean seriously, why would you tell someone to “buy your pre-pregnancy size” but then not make that size actually fit someone of that size?  I don’t get it.  Why would I (normally about a 2/4 pant) wear a size 6 or 8 in maternity pants?  Why would the size small shirt, not actually fit someone who is size small?

Of course, a twin pregnancy means I’ll always be a bit bigger than ‘normal’ even with only one.  But the problem isn’t my belly.  It’s my shoulders.  See, my pre-pregnancy size is PETITE.  Small PETITE.  So the smalls, the few of those that there are, must all actually be tried on because my chest and arms and shoulders are too small.  And even with my slightly-larger pregnancy rack, the necklines (which are almost always v-neck, which never works as well on me as it does on my lovely sister) sag down, showing off my nursing bra to the world.  Great. 

So, I rant to the universe….WHY????

Okay, I’m done.  I’m sure some of you understand.  And for those of you who can magically fit into every maternity shirt or pant you try on…I am seriously jealous!  

Have a great weekend!

There was an ad on the side of my homepage with Homestar Runner and Strong Bad on it.  I haven’t seen or thought of these characters for probably years.  So it was odd to see them there.  

Which reminds me of…some other things I’ve been recently reminded of that I had forgotten about:

• Old Cartoons (Herself the Elf, DuckTales, Tale Spin, and Captain Caveman, for example)
• 3-2-1 Contact
• Double Dare (hosted by Marc Summers who now produces/hosts on Food Network)
• Puffy stickers
• The TGIF Friday-night lineup on ABC 
• Yan Can Cook (it was a staple of my parents’ Saturday morning lineup)
• Whistle Pops
• Triangle-shaped pencil grips (this is not a good memory for me thanks to my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Gathany)
• Fortune Telling (MASH: Mansion/Apartment/Shack/House…or the origami method)

Okay, so that is just a few of mine.  Anything else come to mind when you read my list?

Happy Thursday!

At least I hope we have.  And by “we,” I mean me, of course.

The last week has been emotionally exhausting.  I haven’t felt well because I’ve had a cold and they seriously messed with my blood sugar.  I have cried, gotten angry, been filled with despair, and still had my moments of good humor.  I’ve had to admit my frustrations and anger with God and myself, my ‘real’ reasons for being upset about having gestational diabetes again, and my own refusal to surrender the circumstances to God because I wanted to sulk some more.  

But in the end, the phone call came.  It was the news I didn’t want.  And it can’t be changed now. 

So we move on.

I did decide to start this time with an experiment (my very-smart husband’s idea).  I started checking my sugar again after meals, while eating pretty much exactly as I have been eaten these days.  And not surprisingly, my blood sugar readings haven’t been high once.  Even after eating chocolate chips straight from the bag yesterday at lunch as I usually do (it’s my one vice, and typically my only dessert in a day).  Which means that, as I suspected, being diagnosed with GD doesn’t really have any practical meaning in daily life.  

It’s really funny to me, actually.  Two hours after I eat, I’m supposed to have readings of 120 or lower when I check my blood.  Two hours after eating my normal lunch (with chocolate chips), my level was 119.  A normal dinner registered at 98.  My typical breakfast was 81.  Yep…it would seem I have serious trouble with my blood sugar. Or not.  

Of course, I will probably still have to prick my fingers four times a day for the next 11 weeks.  And the OB’s office will still act like I’m always thisclose to my blood sugar spiraling out of control.  And if anything changes, they’ll send me to the dietician (a visit which I have been forgiven for now since I don’t really need a refresher course).

But, it would seem right now that I can pretty much eat as I always do and not worry too much that my sugar will not be too high. (There are a few things I learned the last time that it’s better to avoid, but I don’t often eat those things anyway.)  And I’m working to ‘take every thought captive’ and not just rehearse my issues with the whole GD ‘thing’ every chance I get to whomever will listen.  

And hopefully, as we move forward, we can keep the frustration down this time.  And by “we,” I mean me and God.

Oh, and you guys, too.  Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. And for commiserating with me.  Feel free to pray for me every once in a while, if you think of it.  It’s still not fun.  And it hurts to prick your fingers so often.  And, well, 11 weeks, though short in the greater scheme of things, is still a long haul.  But you helped me more than you know, as usual.

So here’s to turning corners…happy Wednesday!

So, here are the results from various stories I started talking about last week…

Eric fixed our car on Saturday.  Turned out to be a short in the brake lights which blew a fuse, thus keeping the car from moving out of park.  But he knew what to look for and how to fix it himself.  And he did.  And we ended up moving the carseats to the Toyota so I could have air conditioning since the Jeep’s is out again.  It’s kind of nice to drive my little car again.

My MIL made absolutely a.dor.a.ble outfits for the twins and brought them with her yesterday while she watched them.  I wish the results of my sewing endeavors looked that good!  Pics to come soon!

I failed my 3-hour glucose test.  Again.  I’m discouraged.  And sad.

Maybe someday soon I’ll blog about why that is such a big deal for me (in a bad way).  But for now, suffice it to say that I am really bummed.  And I wish God would have let me avoid it this time because gestational diabetes really stinks.  And right now, “my grace is sufficient” is true in my head but not so much in my bummed-out heart.  We’ll work on it, Him and me. 

And I think that’s about all.  Unless you remember a story that I started but forgot to update on.  But I can’t think of any others right now.  So I’ll just end here.  Happy Tuesday…

I don’t like the new Xanga homepage.  At.all.  

I was planning to go to C-ville today so I wouldn’t sit home and sulk about yesterday’s test results.  Unfortunately, Eric couldn’t get the car to shift out of Park this morning (it worked fine yesterday).  So he had to take the Jeep to work.  And we’re stuck home.  *sigh*  I guess God wants me to work on my attitude without going somewhere.

My attitude has been in great need of work these days.  In case no one noticed.

Unfortunately, the twins are both melting down pretty easily today, too.  And it’s going to be insanely hot/humid today.  So except for maybe taking a walk this morning, it will not be a good day to go outside and play.  So this could get interesting…

On a happier note, I got a bunch of pictures I had ordered from Shutterfly yesterday.  So I spent the afternoon sorting them and finding frames for the ones that will be staying here.  And I actually put a bunch of them on the walls.  I have a few left to hang, but I like the ones I’ve done so far.  

So anyway, there’s the Friday report.  My original plan cancelled; no new plan yet decided on.  But I did get a few chores done yesterday.  I guess I’ll see what other activities I’ve been putting off and maybe try to talk myself into doing those.  

Hope you all have a marvelous weekend!

That’s pretty much where it stands today.

The OB’s office called.  I failed the glucose test.  Miserably.  Worse (slightly) than I did with the twins even.

So now I have to do the 3-hour screening on Monday.  Fast after midnight.  Fasting blood draw at 8:30.  Drink more glucose water (with higher amounts of glucose this time).  Have blood drawn at 1, 2 and 3 hours after drinking.  I can fail one of the 4 draws.  Two or more readings that are too high and you “have” GD.  Last time, I failed two.

The nurse who called me was kind, at least.  I think she could hear my disappointment.  But “Monday’s just a screening, too” isn’t really an encouraging thought.

Let’s just say that, given how high mine was, I have no confidence at all that I’m going to pass 3 of the 4 readings on Monday.  

Anyway…It’s really just frustrating and discouraging and annoying.  And I’m struggling not to be upset (and mostly failing at that, too).  Especially because I did the whole GD thing last time.  It is not fun (as some of you also know).  And it’s especially not fun because I don’t really have much to change to “fix” it.  I already eat healthily and exercise.  So there’s not much left to give up or modify.  It’s just frustrating. 

So, sorry for the whiny post, but I told you I’d keep you updated.  Please pray for Monday’s test and my attitude.  And that I won’t just dwell on the whole dumb thing all weekend.  

Thanks. 

Tomorrow is my 28 week appointment.  I have to drink the glucose stuff by 10:45 am.  No big problem there – I didn’t think it was as disgusting as some people claim.  

And I’m not really all that nervous about the blood test either.  But I have been praying for 4 weeks that we won’t have to deal with gestational diabetes this time. 

My doctor doesn’t expect it to be a problem.  She was always convinced the GD was related to having multiples (second placenta out-hormoned my pancreas).

But I will admit freely that, if the blood work comes back too high, my reaction won’t be pretty.  It might even be a bit juvenile.  But that is seriously how much I want not to have to deal with that stuff again.  

So, feel free to say a quick prayer for my pancreas.  And I will let you know how things go.

Happy Tuesday! 

First, the basic schedule from the last few days:

Thursday: I spent the day writing a bit (during naps) and finishing preparations for my friend’s arrival.  He got here about 5:30 and we hung out for the evening.

Friday: My other college friends arrived and we spent the entire day eating, talking, playing, and generally catching up.  My parents and Karen & Jason came later to say hello, as well.  Everybody went home between 8:30 and 9:00 and we went to bed.

Saturday: We did nothing to speak of.  I worked on pictures in the morning.  And we did leave the house to run errands for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Oh, and Eric finished a Persistance of Vision ‘toy’ (think something like this) he was making at his brother’s request for their church’s VBS.  

Sunday: We drove to the farm (and back) in one day to deliver the aforementioned POV ‘toy’ which ended up being a huge hit.  And we spent the day with grandparents, which was also a huge hit.  

Next…funny things from the last few days:

1.  The twins have pacifiers but only for sleeping.  A little bit ago, they climbed the stairs from the kitchen, each with a pacifier in their mouths (and oddly, each had the ‘correct’ color based on gender).  They found them in the bag we took to the farm yesterday and brought them to me…in their mouths.  It made me laugh.

2.   Yesterday, we were out on my MIL’s front porch.  The twins were running back and forth, while Eric and I sat on the porch swing.  Alex had a large flat rock which broke a piece off when he dropped it.  He brought it to Eric who ‘fixed’ it for him by giving back only the large section.  He went to surreptitiously throw the little piece over his shoulder off the porch so Alex wouldn’t know.  Instead, it hit the main chime of the windchimes hanging right above us, making a very loud “GONG” as it disappeared.  I laughed really hard.

3.  Karen came over with Jason on Friday evening to see our college friends.  Until last Friday, Jason has never voluntarily touched me (he’d hug me if asked to, but wouldn’t do it on his own).  On Friday, he seemed to want to be closer to me than even his mom!  It was really funny because he’s just never been like that with me before.  I guess I’m just too lovable to resist!

Also….the not so fun things from the last few days:

1. The twins were fussy like I’ve never known them to be this weekend.  Some of it, I know, is sheer exhaustion.  They’ve been running and busy for days on end, and though they’ve been sleeping pretty well, they are tired.  Sunday morning, especially, absolutely NOTHING made them happy.  And they are starting to throw more fits when I tell them ‘no’ about something.  I think we are beginning the adventure of the Terrible Twos.  Oh joy…

2. A one-day trip to the farm is typically hard and tiring anyway, but yesterday, the drive itself was ridiculous.  It took us a full hour to get from the west side of Columbus to the east side (normally, it’s less than 30 minutes) because of construction.  And then it took us longer to get home because of torrential rains.  Also, we had little-to-no air conditioning again.   And the twins were not inclined to sleep.  So they got pretty fussy about having to be in their seats for that long.  Thankfully, I discovered that singing songs with them is a good distraction, and Eric is a good driver.  So we managed to survive!

And finally…other random pieces of life:

1. I finally ordered pictures of the twins again.  It’ll be fun to hang up current pictures of them in the near future!

2. Right now, my favorite room in the house is the guest room.  After my mom came up (last Tuesday) and helped me clean it out, make the bed and organize it, it’s this oddly clean and peaceful room.  I have no idea how long that will last, but it’s just nice to walk into a room like that in the midst of the lived-in look of the rest of my house!

3. We bought some books from a college student who came to our door on Saturday evening.  He told Eric he’d give him his car if Eric could correctly guess which European country he was from.  Eric had already pieced together (accent + blond + a name with a double vowel) that he was from Estonia.  Priit (pronounced Preet) was floored that he got it right.  And was even more floored that we had both been to his country (it’s about the size of Ohio).  It was funny to share such a random connection!  And the books (which are for the kids) are pretty neat.  Most are too old for the twins now, but it’ll be fun to have them in the future. 

4. I finally signed us up for a one-day birthing class.  I’ve been meaning to and suddenly figured I had better get us registered or we’d be out of luck before New Baby makes her arrival.  We didn’t do a class the first time because we knew it would be a c-section.  But since I’m hoping to try a VBAC this time…I figured some information might be helpful.  For those of you with kids, out of curiosity, did you do a class?  Was it helpful, or that just wishful thinking on my part?

5. My parents brought Anderson’s Frozen Custard back with them from Buffalo when they stopped in for supper on Friday night.  To transport the frozen yumminess, Anderson’s uses dry ice.  So Eric and my college friends got to play with the stuff that was left once my parents arrived.  Go figure: my husband (the physicist) and my friends Tim (the former science teacher), Mike (the engineer), and Aaron (who likes big bangs) really enjoyed blowing up a water bottle with dry ice.  They did then also make it bubble for the kids to play with, which was also a big hit.  Nothing like a little science to keep the party going!

6. We had plans on 4 of the 5 days of last week.  This week, we have only one day with plans, so far.  This is probably a good thing so we can all recover.  Or I’ll get bored.  We’ll see which it is…

7.  Eric is seriously considering buying a laser engraving system.  It’s a neat little tool that can basically “print” from your computer, using a laser, onto all sorts of materials (wood, glass, acrylic, etc.) or cut out pieces of wood, paper, or fabric.  We are sort of thinking of it as an investment for a small side business.  No firm decisions yet, but I think he’s going to be scheduling a demo to see it work IRL pretty soon.  Should be interesting…

And I guess that’s all I can think of right this minute…so happy Monday!

For some reason, I keep thinking today is Thursday.

Yesterday, my mom came up and helped me tackle a huge project: cleaning out the guest room.  It’s been my dumping ground for far too long, and we’ll be having an overnight guest this week.  So I needed to find it!  

We took all the boxes and crap out of it, cleaned up, moved some small pieces, made the bed, and generally found the room.  Then we moved to the loft and sorted and organized the boxes we’d just taken out of the room.  It took us about 2 hours, all said.  But it would have taken me weeks by myself.  And now all that’s left is a lovely & clean room and some boxes to get to the basement.  Yay!

Today, I think we’re going to try Story Time at the library again.  They did pretty well last week, so it’s worth a second shot.  This week is about alligators, though, so I have no idea what to expect as far as stories and songs!

I also have to get to the laundry and other small chores to get ready for the party we’re hosting on Friday for my college friends.  It should be fun, and if I space my prep out well, it shouldn’t be too hard on my, either!

The twins woke up about the same time this morning (first time this week), so we’re running on a good schedule.  When I asked Erin if she wanted to come to Momma, she shook her head ‘no’ and pointed at Alex.  I asked if she wanted to go see Alex, and that was a vigorous affirmative.  So I picked her up and lifted her into Alex’s crib, and they sat side-by-side looking very happy about those arrangements.  I do love how much they enjoy each other!

And that’s about all I’ve got today.  I hope you all have a marvelous hump day!

So we spend a lot of time, in lessons from 1 Sam. 17, about how and why David won that battle against Goliath.  And thus, using those principles, how we can face and defeat our spiritual giants, too.  But I got thinking about Goliath on Sunday morning and the fact that he lost a battle to his spiritual “gnat” – a battle he should have won decisively.  And that got me wondering about my own life, and how often I let the same behaviors lead to my own defeat in areas that seem tiny.

1. In his pride, Goliath didn’t perceive his impending destruction.  

Of course, I don’t mean that he should have been able to tell the future and missed a huge sign.  What I mean is that Goliath had no way of knowing that the 40 days he challenged the Israelite army were his last 40 days.   He was playing with fire and didn’t even know.  But he also never even gave it a second thought.  He wasn’t going to die…some nameless Israelite warrior was (in his mind, anyway).  So he could continue his challenges in full confidence because it just wasn’t possible, he thought, that each challenge was bringing him closer to his own demise.  His pride blinded him.  And how true that is of me.  I rarely perceive my impending doom in a particular area.  I don’t know when all the days I blow off my time with God or choose to continue a pattern of “not-so-bad” sin are suddenly going to turn into a moment of huge failure.  And neither did Goliath.  And since he never considered the possibility of failure, he wasn’t ready when it came.

2. He based his sense of confidence on the wrong things.

First, he based it on outward signs of his own superiority, call this active intimidation.  The Bible describes him as a man who stood over 9 feet tall.  His chain mail shirt weighed 125 lbs., and the head of his spear weighed 15 lbs.  He was huge, strong, a seasoned warrior.  And he believed that those realities were enough.  After all, they had always been enough before.  I mean seriously, what Israelite in his right mind would want to fight someone who looked like that?  And Goliath knew that his physical presence would be imposing, so he felt supremely confident that winning would be no problem. 

Second, he was depending on the power of passive intimidation.  Keep in mind that there was no CNN or YouTube.  There was only a few thousands (or maybe ten thousands) of soldiers on one side, facing a similar number of soldiers on the other.  And Goliath was one guy.  So when he walked out into the middle of the field and yelled his challenge to Israel, only a few hundred could see and hear him.  And the rest of the soldiers would hear from them.  Hearsay.  Rumor.  And imagine how much bigger, louder, stronger, more frightening Goliath got with each new ripple through Israel’s camp.  They were doing his work of intimidation for him.  Every time a soldier told another soldier, like a game of Telephone, things got embellished and the likelihood of finding a challenger got slimmer.  

And how often do I do the same things.  Okay, so I’m not physically imposing at 5 feet and (normally) about 100 lbs.  But I consider myself to be invincible, impervious to attacks by Satan or to betrayals by my sin nature.  I haven’t fallen yet, so I shouldn’t fall today.  I’ve got that sin conquered, I think, and no temptation would dare raise its head against me and my totally practiced ability to walk in the Spirit and follow Jesus. They’ve heard how I’m a champion for Jesus, right?  Um…sounds like Goliath-think to me.  And it’s only a matter of time before I will be eating those words.

3. Goliath misjudged the significance of the battle.

When David came out to fight him, Goliath saw only a small kid, and he mocked him.  “Am I a dog that you come to me with a stick?”  In other words, ‘How small do you think I am, you little runt?  I could squeeze you to a pulp with my bare hands, and you shake a stick at me?’  From where Goliath stood, there was only a small boy with a shepherd’s staff coming to meet him.  But he never considered that the battle might be more important than he realized.  He didn’t think that David might have other weapons or a different game plan than the apparently obvious tactic.  He perceived David as a gnat, sent to torment him for a bit, and nothing more.  So Goliath came at him, apparently to fight in close combat, while David slung his stone from a distance.  And Goliath lost. 

Goliath was unprepared for the battle to go any way but the one way he had envisioned.  He had apparently left his shield with his shield bearer.  And, as we find out after the stone brings him down, he had never even unsheathed his sword (which David uses to kill him and cut off his head).  He wasn’t ready for all possibilities.  He totally underestimated his opponent, and it cost him his life.

And that is pretty much where I find myself most days, as well.  I’m prepared, I think, for the battle of the day, assuming I will be facing a frontal assault in a particular area, when instead, I am totally blindsided by a different sin, and newer temptation, an attack by the enemy or my sin nature that I never saw coming.  This is why, I’m sure, Paul insisted we put on the whole armor of God.  We don’t know how the enemy intends to come at us.  We don’t know how the battle will play out today, and we have to be ready for anything, for everything.  How often do I leave my sword sheathed, just like Goliath did, and it costs me everything because I do.

Lessons from Goliath: If you want to set yourself up to lose a battle you should win handily, follow his lead.  Let your pride blind you.  Use the wrong criteria as the basis for your pride.  And misjudge the size of your enemy and the significance of the battle.  

Lord, help me to leave behind my Goliath-style ways today.