Resignation
    I didn’t get a chance to post about anything yesterday, but since you all were wondering, I thought I’d answer some of your concerns.  I actually resigned about 3 weeks ago; I just never mentioned it on Xanga.  It was certainly bittersweet: I like my colleagues and parts of my job a lot.  But it was the right thing to do – for CU and my family.  I did shed some tears, especially while writing the letter and right before hitting the ‘send’ button.  But since that day, I’ve really had no regrets. 
    Generally, the hardest part has been that for almost 10 years, I’ve defined myself as “professor of college freshman” or “writing teacher” and now I’m shifting that moniker to “mother of twins.”  I just don’t know what “mother of twins” actually means or entails.  So the vagueness of my new direction has been the most disconcerting part.  Oh well…I’m sure I’ll figure out my new job description pretty quickly one of the these days!
     So yesterday, I met with a colleague who is taking over my Basic English class (she was hired just last year and is perfect for this responsibility…another confirmation!) and finished boxing up my office.  I got everything out and sorted.  My dad and brother showed up and moved it all to my car (where it still is!), and though I was aware of the moment’s potential for nostalgia…I didn’t even feel like being emotional about it (another confirmation!).  And, about 6:45, I made it home for the grilled steak dinner I told Eric to start while I drove.  Yummy!

Reluctance
    So our next door neighbors are moving out.  They were one of the only two couples on the cul-de-sac who were still the original owners.  They’ve built a house in Dublin.  And I’ve been trying to figure out how best to say goodbye.  We liked having them as neighbors (and they seemed to enjoy us), but we never really connected in such a manner that we could easily witness to them or where doors opened onto spiritual things.  I’m really, really bad about that sort of thing.  But I’m praying to get better.
    So yesterday on my morning walk, I realized that I couldn’t really do a lot of ‘witnessing’ to them now, but maybe I could do something else, even a little something.  I still needed to do something to thank Dani for the maternity clothes (she gave me more yesterday!), so I bought a little $10 Walmart gift card, and put it, a note, and a copy of Lucado’s The Gift for all People in a bag for her.
    And then I almost couldn’t make myself give it to her.  Why is it that I am so incapable of making even the smallest gesture towards an unsaved person?    All I could think was, “What if she hates me for including the book? What if I make her mad and ruin any open door that I did have?”  So I hesitated to go outside and give her the bag.  I balked, even though I’d prayed all day that they would still be there when I got home (I wasn’t sure when their last day in the house was).  And finally, I just walked next door and dropped it off.  And didn’t make a big deal of any of it.  We chatted, she brought over more clothes for me, and then she headed back home. 
     I don’t know what she’ll think of or do with the book.  But it’s a gift book.  It’s supposed to be given away.  So if she throws it out…I can’t do much about it.  But maybe it’ll get shoved in a box and someday rediscovered right when it’s truths are needed most.  Who knows?  I just know that my reluctance to actually reach out to people is something about myself that I really want God to change.

Recap

And finally, a quick weekend update since I didn’t post one yesterday:

• Friday – cleaned the house, made cookies, packed an overnight bag (after Eric moved all the stuff so I could get a bag out to use) and drove to the farm.  There was a bad accident on I70 eastbound, so we drove around the city on I270.  We got back to I70, drove about 5 miles east and were diverted off the interstate (before leaving the Columbus suburbs) by another accident that shut the highway down.  So we took some back roads in Pickerington and got back on 70 at Pataskala, then drove the rest of the way to the farm without incident.
• Saturday – Eric played farmer all day (picked apples with his grandpa, chased cows who’d escaped, and mowed hay in the big tractor).  He totally enjoyed his day!  I hung out with Pam, my MIL.  We ran errands and visited her parents so they could see my big belly.  We stayed for dinner, went for a short drive afterwards, and then came home.
• Sunday – Communion at church…lovely service!  Then home, dinner, and my parents stopped by in the afternoon to bring me a new porch swing that my dad had built for me.  My previous one (made by my grandfather) was of poor quality and was disintegrating.  My new one is fan.tas.tic!  I love it!!  After my parents left, we went to the grocery store, then relaxed for the rest of the evening!

Happy Tuesday!