Missing: my feet

I realized in the shower this morning that I cannot see my feet anymore without leaning forward.  I’m only 15 weeks pregnant…I think I’m in big trouble!

The weekend was pretty good.  My parents came up on Friday night and took us out to Red Robin.  I almost choked on a piece of chicken during dinner.  I guess that should teach me not to talk and breathe in while I’m eating.  I doubt it will stop me, though…  They hung out and chatted for a while after dinner…it was nice!

Saturday, my husband and I spent the bulk of the day deep-cleaning the kitchen.  It had been a long time since everything had been really cleaned, and Eric is super-detail-oriented, so when he cleans…it’s CLEAN.  And I figured if someone was working with me, I wouldn’t lose motivation so fast.  It worked, too!  So the kitchen looked fabulous for about 2 hours on Saturday night…until we made dinner and used it regularly on Sunday!  Oh well!

Really, the best part of cleaning together was that it really was quality time.  I loved it!  Actually, the weekend as a whole was good for that.  We talked, we hung out, we worked as a team.  And considering that in a few short months, we will have to sort of reinvent ourselves and how we relate to each other and function together, I enjoyed just getting to be us, together, for a couple of days.  I’m sure the “new” us that includes children will be good times, but I will miss the “us” that we’ve been for the last four years, too. 

Sunday was a lot of relaxing and hanging out.  We met five couples from our small group (we have a HUGE small group) for ice cream in the evening, so we actually got to be somewhat social.  It was fun to laugh and chat again (and I hadn’t seen most of them since we found out about the twins)!

The truth is…I’m finally beginning to miss people.  It usually takes about halfway through the summer for that to happen, but it means that I’ve finally recovered from the Spring semester and need not to be alone all the time.  And I’m definitely there!  Especially considering that I may not be teaching again in the Fall, I’m going to have to find ways of connecting with people socially or I’ll be mostly alone for the next five months. This would NOT be a good thing!

Anyway, I think that’s all I’ve got for right now.  Happy Monday (of a 4-day work week)!

Why I read movie spoilers

Because I do not like surprises.  I do not like to walk out of a movie theatre deeply disturbed by the end of a movie.  So I read the spoilers for certain movies that I suspect will cause that reaction in my brain.  For example, ever since the Sixth Sense, I do this for all M. Night Shamaylan movies.  I understand what he’s trying to do, and I think he is good at building suspense, but I do not enjoy his movies much at all.  They make me feel unsettled in a non-godly way.  And I just don’t need to see images of dead people, weird things, or stormy nights where creatures jump out of the shadows.  I have a hard enough time keeping my brain calm at 3:00 am without his ‘help’!

Anyway, there is my editorial for the day.  Of course, for most movies, I do not read spoilers.  Ironman was totally worth it, and I had no idea about the ending.  Dramas, comedies, cartoons…sure those can just be watched.  But suspense/horror movies…NOT A CHANCE!

Yesterday I got my laundry and ironing done, but too late to take pictures of my clothes.  Maybe this weekend (for Monday’s post).  I also got very little else done. 

I think my lack of productivity is directly related to the fact that, these days, I tend to do a couple of things, lose motivation, sit for a while, then get up and try again.  So last evening, I ironed 1-3 shirts, sat down with Eric on the couch, got back up at the commercial, ironed another 1-2, sat back down, etc., etc., etc..  It’s pretty silly, really.  But I seem to be unable to motivate myself anymore.  So sad…

Today has nothing on the agenda, really.  I have a few little chores, and I need more milk already.  It used to take us 2 or more weeks to use up a gallon of milk.  These days, I can drink an entire gallon in less than a week, by myself!  Sheesh!   Anyway, not exactly sure what the day will hold, but that’s not necessarily a problem, right?

Happy Friday!

Productive Day!

Despite the poor start to my day yesterday, I did end up having a pretty good day.  My mom called just after breakfast to say hi.  She’d been gone since last Thursday, so I hadn’t chatted with her for a while.  Then I was half an hour behind, so I quickly loaded the dishwasher and threw dinner in the crockpot and headed to Karen’s.  I was only a few minutes late!

We headed up to Polaris Fashion Place (aka “mall”) to shop.  We went to JC Penney’s, Motherhood Maternity, Baby Gap (which has some maternity), and Sears (which, apparently, does not have maternity clothes anymore).  I spent all my gift cards, and I swear I tried on over 100 items of clothes.  We had lunch, we chatted, we laughed.  And overall, we were very successful.

I got 9 shirts, a dress, a skirt, three pairs of pants, a pair of jeans and 2 pairs of shorts.  Sorry, Kimberly…no bikini!  Anyway, Eric offered to take pictures of me in the clothes after I wash them, so you’ll have to wait on the modeling.  But here’s a quick peek:

So clearly, Karen took good care of me.  I really needed her help, too, because I would’ve totally given up without trying on nearly so much.  And I needed someone to just stand there and tell me if an outfit looked good on me.  Of course, they didn’t all look good.  One pair of pants made me look like one of the seven Dwarves (with my pants up to my boobs); we did not buy those.  But Karen was sooo much help.  Thanks, Kate!!!!

After I got home, I sat for a long while.  I watched some television.  Eric got home, and we had dinner.  He did some work in the evening and showed me the new database he’s creating at work.  I just goofed off and tried to stay up as long as possible.  Then it was off to bed! 

Today, I have laundry to do and some ironing.  And I think I’m going to have to rearrange my closet to get all my new clothes to fit.  We shall see what comes of that!   Happy Thursday!!

What time I am afraid…

When David got there, he said he would trust in God.  When I get there…well, it’s much more hit or miss.  It was kind of a rough night.  Still not sure why.  But I was pretty much up from 3-5 this morning for a variety of reasons.  Mostly because my brain turned on.  And as I’ve said before, having that happen, at that time of day, is seriously problematic for me.

Surprisingly, what I do in those moments has changed somewhat.  I used to worry.  About everything.  Now it’s not so much worry as fear.  I’m afraid.  But it’s all a “what if” kind of fear.  What if “this” happens in the morning?  What if “this” doesn’t happen?  What if I do “this”?  What if I don’t?  What if?  What if?  What if?

I know that these moments are a bit cyclical.  I am gradually learning to trust and bring my fears to Jesus immediately, so for a while, we’ll do great.  But then it’ll sneak up on me, and unprepared for the attack, I find myself back to the knot-in-my-stomach fear that has kept me locked up into selfish, un-Christlike thought patterns and behaviors for many years.  So what do I do on those nights? 

David’s verse doesn’t help me very much on those nights…I barely understand the concept of trusting God when I’m super-coherent.  It’s way too vague at 3:00 am.  But another verse is my life-line: Is. 41:10.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (NIV)

I love that verse.  The Spirit speaks to me, “Shannah, don’t be afraid.  I AM is with you.  Keep your eyes on Him because nothing that happens is beyond his control.  So you don’t have to fear any “what ifs”.

The NAS translates that second part as “Do not anxiously look about you.”  That, I understand.  That phrase makes a lot more sense to me than “don’t be dismayed.”  But, of course, the reason, is still the same…I AM is my God.  He will provide strength, help, support, victory in any situation or circumstance I find myself in. 

What a promise!  What a God!  I AM…Jehovah…the covenant God of Israel is with me.  In the midst of my fear, my worry, my circumstance, I am not alone.  And my companion controls the universe.  Looking at him, I have found, is the only way to stop the cycle of fear.  I may have to do it over and over until my sin habits get the hint and leave me to fall asleep.  But a change in perspective is the only sure-fire cure that I have found for fear.

________

Okay, thanks for listening to my ramblings this morning.  I just needed to get some of that out of my head so I could get started on my day.  The day should be fun: a trip to the mall with Karen.  I’ll try to post pictures of any cute maternity clothes we find.  Then, given my early morning, I’ll probably crash for the afternoon.  Should be a good day!  Happy Wednesday!

I have nothing of value to say today.  Nothing at all.  It’s kind of sad. 

My day yesterday was not worth retelling (and Karen covered the highlights already).

I have no more news or pictures.

I have nothing deep or meaningful to blog about. 

*sigh*

Maybe tomorrow…

Happy Tuesday!

Busy Weekend

We spent most of Saturday and Sunday out at the farm.  It was good to hang out, chat, do nothing (and it was so much nicer to have everyone come to us, instead of having to drive all over Muskingum and Coshocton counties to see them!).  On Saturday, Eric’s brother was gone for the day, so we helped out at milking by feeding calves for his dad.  I got to feed little twin calves, and Eric fed the other three.  There are also, apparently, three more that were still too little to be in the calf hutches, so my FIL fed them.  This many calves is a great thing because all but one were girls…very important on a dairy farm!  And it’s soooo cute to watch them suck down a bottle of milk!

In other news…

• I am officially into my second trimester this week (14 weeks).  Also I am going to have to make my first foray into maternity clothes this week.  I’m just about out of pants that I can wear out of the house, and I am down to dresses without waists for Sundays.  Hopefully, Karen will want to go with me…

• I was downright exhausted last night by the time we got home.  Busy days, less-than-stellar sleep, and a lot of driving tend to contribute to that, I guess.  So an early bedtime was in order.  It was lovely!

• Today I must make a grocery run.  And I’m meeting a friend for lunch.  Then I think I’ll just sit on my couch for the rest of the afternoon.

• And finally, the results of last Thursday’s ultrasound:

This is Baby A (actually Baby B from the first set of pictures, but now closer to the cervix, thus the name change).  This one was sleeping, it seemed, all curled up.  But the head is much more obvious now!

This is Baby B.  As soon as she put the ultrasound device on my belly, we could see this one kicking and dancing around, having a little party in there. No wonder Baby A was all curled up!  And in the first shot of this one, I could clearly see the little leg and foot.  This is the second shot (the printer was out of paper), and it’s not so clear here.  But maybe the next time…

Yesterday’s recap:

• I went to my dr. appointment.  All is well.  I have two new ultrasound pictures (maybe I’ll post them later).
• I did a couple of things at home.
• I drove to C-ville for lunch with Deb and the girls (and Chris).  So fun.  She didn’t tell the girls I was coming, so they were super-excited when I just showed up at the door.  We shared pretzels from my lunch.  Chatted with Deb after lunch for a bit.
• Went up to the University to see the people in my mom’s office.  Showed the pictures.  Told stories.  Delivered a message from my mom. 
• Picked up Maggie and all her stuff.  I think I forgot some things though.
• Spent the rest of the day hanging out with Maggie, then Eric.  Watched Failure to Launch before bed.  Fun times!

Plans for Today:

• We are heading to the farm tomorrow for the weekend.  I need to clean up my house, do laundry, and get ready.
• It’s the neighborhood garage sale in our development.  I may wander around (sans Maggie) and see if there’s anything good.
• Play with Maggie.

Okay that’s it.  Happy Friday!

I still don’t really love the “all-in-one” front page on my Xanga page.  Parts of it are nice, but it’s too busy.  Maybe I’m just too old to be taught new computer tricks…

Just a quick update for now (more later).

I have a doctor’s appointment this morning.  Eric overslept by an hour.   He’ll be a bit later to work.  I’ll be rushing to get out on time.  Well, I guess that’s one way to keep me from worrying even a little bit!

EDIT: The appointment went really well.  I love that I get to have ultrasounds every time I go.  This time I saw a leg and foot…so cute!  The babies are both doing great: same size, correct amount of growth, etc.  The doctor was pleased.  So was I!  Sadly, I only gained 5 lbs in the month I’ve been doing nothing but eating… *sigh*  I just keep trying to remind myself that soon the babies will be contributing more!

I’m running down to C-ville to pick up Maggie, Karen’s puggle.  My parents were watching her, but they flew out to Montana this morning, so I’m watching her for a couple of days now.  Eric’s not thrilled, but we’ll do just fine.  It’s a long trip, though just to pick up a dog.  Oh well…

EDIT (2): Oh, and I decided to go have lunch with Deb and the girls (and maybe make a couple stops at the university).  That will at least justify the two-hour drive, I think!

Okay, gotta run…Happy Thursday!

Twin Stuff

Here’s some of the “interesting” facts about being pregnant with twins that have impacted my life:

• With one baby, we were undecided about whether to find out gender.  However, we decided, once the twins appeared on the ultrasound, to be “finder-outers” because it made me feel less overwhelmed with how to prepare for them.  (BTW – we both want 2 boys…though we won’t be disappointed with 2 healthy babies of any gender!)

• I eat about every 2 hours: breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack (sometimes twice), dinner, bedtime snack.  I haven’t been hungry in weeks (this is good), and I’ve only been full about 2-3 times in that span of time.

• I find myself holding off doing too much prep until after my next doctor’s appointment, partly from a little bit of concern that there won’t be good news (not that this is likely) and partly because I’m still worn out by about 2:00 in the afternoon.  Maybe one of these days I’ll have enough gumption to actually start looking at stuff.

• Eric told his coworkers this week, one of whom had twins in December (about 6-7 weeks early).  She was very excited, and we may find ourselves with a good bit of advice, donations, and general help from her.  That will be nice!

• Speaking of Eric, can I just tell you all what a fabulous man I married.  From the day we found out, he has been helpful, encouraging, and incredibly protective.  He’s not overbearing (not his style), but he makes sure I get what I need and regularly checks in with me.   And he’s so cute to watch when someone comes to talk about it at church or elsewhere…he’s just so proud and smiling.  Love that guy!

• I spend most of every afternoon sitting on the couch with my feet up on a pillow.  Yesterday, I went to WalMart and Target (I spent less than 10 minutes here), but by the time I got home I knew I had pushed a bit too far somehow.  I still don’t have a good sense for how much is too much and how soon I’ll get there. 

• I’ve been doing a lot of good reading about twins stuff.  It’s been very helpful since my doctor’s office, while not unhelpful, is not overtly proactive unless I’m in the office with them.  While I’ve had no problems and no questions to ask, I realized this week how hard it’s been to basically be on my own for the last four weeks, guessing about whether I’m doing the right things or not, without any feedback from those who know.  I’ve decided to wait and see how my next appointment goes before I get too concerned, though.

Okay, so those are pretty random, but they’re all I’ve got today.  Since I wore out so early, I spent much of the day sitting.  I’m just glad it’s summer, so I have that luxury.  And I currently have no plans for today.  We shall see what I come up with!

Happy Wednesday!

Another not-too-exciting day

in baby-making land.  It’s surprising how well I’ve adjusted to the idea that I need to sit and rest more.  Being the on-the-go, type-A, perfectionist type, I am amazed how easy it is for me to just sit down for an hour or more and read or watch a movie or relax.  Apparently, my inner bum is finally getting her chance to shine!

Sadly, I don’t have very much to share.  I did some reading yesterday.  I did clean up the kitchen (twice) and make dinner.  And I went to the grocery store.  I stayed home in the morning because Eric’s new phone needed a signature, so I made sure I was there to sign for it. He was having fun playing with it last night.  Oh, and we watched a movie before bed (Surf’s Up).  It was cute, but not the best animated movie I’ve seen in a while. 

Truthfully, I can’t think of much else to say today. I have a lot on my mind about this whole twin pregnancy thing, but I don’t think I could share it coherently.  It’s a lot harder than I was anticipating.  And it’s hard to keep the appropriate focus (the babies, not me) sometimes.  Maybe I’ll try to put it all into words later…

Anyway, I think I will make a trip to WalMart today (we’re almost out of TP!), but other than that, I’m pretty open.  And I am enjoying the gorgeous weather and loooooong days!  I summer!  Happy Tuesday!