Babies
The Little Victories PDF Print E-mail
Written by Eric   
Sunday, 04 January 2009 16:03

It's interesting the way that being sleep deprived and constantly taking care of twins makes even the smallest victories seem monumental. A victory is a victory, you take what you can get, even if it is a somewhat bitter-sweet victory... or in this case, butter-scotch. Well, actually it was more like butter-scotch pudding, but only in color and consistency, not in smell, and I assume not in taste.


It all started a few nights ago when Erin stopped sleeping very well. This insomnia happened to coincide with the ceasing of diaper filling. We assumed that there must be some internal blockage in her plumbing that was starting to back up. She was uncomfortable. (At least that's what we interpreted her Wahs to mean. She may have just been talking about the weather, but once again there is that whole language barrier that we're dealing with.) We tried to give her some anti-gas pink stuff, which she really enjoys, but it didn't help much. When we could get her to calm down a little the gurgling and percolating in her bowels sounded like a peaceful babbling brook. But it was not a peaceful place. It was in fact a war zone.


Yesterday the war ended. There were casualties. Among them a cute outfit, a onesie, a changing table cover, a diaper, and a little bit of my dignity. Shannah was feeding Alex at the time and she very proudly announced to me that Erin had just filled a diaper and that since she was busy it was my task to get her cleaned up. I decided to start by assessing the damage. I took her out of the swing and put her on the changing table section of the Pack'n'Play that now lives in our living room. This was not going to be a simple fix that could be triaged down there. No, this was going to require all the might of the nursery, and perhaps the spare bathroom as well.


So we went up to the nursery. I took off the different pieces of clothing starting with the jumper she was wearing. Yep, it was done for the day. Then came the onesie. Also finished. There was some hesitation at this point while I pondered the practicality of just cutting her out of the outfit rather than trying to pull it over her head. Reason did prevail and I went ahead and took it off the normal way knowing at this point that we had a bath in our near future. I started throwing baby wipes at the problem before I even loosened the diaper. First I needed to clean the backs of her knees and every other boundary of the diaper. Then I finally broke the seal and dove head long into the regions of despair. (Interesting side note: If you rearrange the letters of “despair” you can spell “diapers.”) (A note of clarification: When I say I “dove head long” I am speaking figuratively, while the contents of the diaper were quite deep and flowing, it would not have been safe to dive. That's how people break their necks.) So I got the diaper off and started cleaning. Once I felt that the walls and carpet were no longer in danger of being irreparably stained, I prepared the bath, which was, happily, quite uneventful.


In the end Erin got a bath, and a new outfit to wear for the evening and I got a good story. And as a bonus, she slept really well last night.


(Note of apology to Erin: If someday you are reading this story and find it incredibly embarrassing, I apologize. It was insensitive of me to use your misfortune as a topic for a humorous blog entry; however, I can't guarantee that I won't tell the story to the first boyfriend you bring home, especially if I don't like him.)

Last Updated on Sunday, 04 January 2009 16:05
 
Babies are funny... PDF Print E-mail
Written by Eric   
Sunday, 21 December 2008 11:30

Babies are funny. Not necessarily “ha ha” funny, but more of a “huh... babies sure are funny little critters.” I've been thinking through all of the things that can be the source of distress to the babies. So far I've mostly just pondered diapers. Here's my initial list of what would distress me about them if I was a baby:

  • Dirty Diaper

  • Wet Diaper

  • Dirty and Wet Diaper

  • Diaper is chaffing me.

  • Diapers demean me.

  • Diapers make my butt look big.

  • I don't even know what a diaper is.

  • Why is there a silent “a” in diaper?

  • Shouldn't a diaper be a person who diaps things?

  • My brother is going through diapers faster than I am, hence he is wasting my inheritance with his incontinence!

And the list goes on and on.

 

You would think that with so many different things to be distressed about that the babies would have quite a diverse, if not colorful vocabulary to use in the expression of these heart wrenching and emotional issues. Or at least I would think that. It turns out that I'm wrong. Babies have one word to express their feelings on all of these topics:


Wah!


That's it. Wah! And now I'm supposed to figure out how to sooth two babies who are pondering the quirkiness of the English language when I don't have any good reason for the odd spellings or pronunciations. I also need to somehow translate it into a string of Wah!s that can accurately convey to the children that English is a funny language and it takes time to learn, but we can take comfort in the fact that the rest of the world is ambitious enough to learn it as a second language making it possible for us to rather comfortably dominate global markets while being defiantly monolingual.

 

I've tried to explain this to them, but there seems to be something lost in the translation. Whatever I ended up saying must have been funny, because the babies just looked at me and gave me a sort of half smile, so maybe something got through. Either that or it was just gas... funny...


Last Updated on Sunday, 21 December 2008 13:37
 
The first week PDF Print E-mail
Written by Eric   
Sunday, 14 December 2008 17:05

So I've been a dad for almost 1 week now. It's been tiring, but a lot of fun. We came home from the hospital on Thursday evening. Even though coming home meant that we no longer had the option of sending the babies to the nursery for part of the night to give us some rest, it is still much better to be home.

In the two nights that we've been home, I've discovered that there are hours between 1am and 4am. I thought that those hours became obsolete after  my college years. As it turns out, they are still there. I didn't miss them. 

I've only been doing some of the baby things for a few nights, but I have some questions for the manufacturers of baby clothing. Why do "onesies" go over the baby's head? What are you supposed to do when you are changing a dirty diaper, and in the middle of the changing, the baby decides that he wasn't quite done? So now have a baby with no diaper, poop running down his back and getting on his one article of clothing that I now have to take off of him by pulling it over his head! As you can imagine it's not pretty. Also, what's with the snaps? How does a piece of clothing for a person who is less than 20 inches long require 83 snaps that need to be engaged in a precise order make any sense? If you get one snap wrong then the whole system malfunctions and you get one leg longer than the other. If this stuff goes on long enough your child can only run in circles or become a world class contortionist! Once again the whole thing is like some brain teaser that you're supposed to be able to figure out at 2 in the morning. 

Even in light of the clothing difficulties, it's still a lot of fun. Especially all of the pictures that I've been taking. I really wish that it was possible to take pictures of what I actually see when I'm holding them. It seems like there is no way to capture how cute they both are in person. But I'll keep trying. I've already uploaded 88 pictures (far fewer than I've taken) and I still need  to process the pictures from yesterday and today. Maybe eventually I'll settle down and regain some ability to look at a picture objectively and only post the good ones. But right now every picture of my children is a good picture!

 

 
More Pictures PDF Print E-mail
Written by Eric   
Thursday, 11 December 2008 12:36

I have added more pictures to the website since you all can't seem to get enough. I don't blame you. They are very cute!

 See more pictures.

 
They are finally here! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Eric   
Monday, 08 December 2008 14:24

After all the preparations we are happy to announce that this morning the twins were born happy and healthy! At 7:52am Alexander Leon Hogue was born. He weighed 6lbs 0oz and was 18.75 inches long. Two minutes later, at 7:54am Erin Elizabeth Hogue was born. She weighed 6lbs 1oz and was 19 inches long. Here are some pictures:

 Erin Elizabeth

DSC_5725


Alexander Leon

 

DSC_5704.JPG


 
 
Many more pictures are available here.

 

Last Updated on Monday, 15 December 2008 13:53
 
«StartPrev123NextEnd»

Page 2 of 3
Copyright © 2017 elhogue.com. All Rights Reserved.
Joomla! is Free Software released under the GNU/GPL License.