Babies are funny... PDF Print E-mail
Written by Eric   
Sunday, 21 December 2008 11:30

Babies are funny. Not necessarily “ha ha” funny, but more of a “huh... babies sure are funny little critters.” I've been thinking through all of the things that can be the source of distress to the babies. So far I've mostly just pondered diapers. Here's my initial list of what would distress me about them if I was a baby:

  • Dirty Diaper

  • Wet Diaper

  • Dirty and Wet Diaper

  • Diaper is chaffing me.

  • Diapers demean me.

  • Diapers make my butt look big.

  • I don't even know what a diaper is.

  • Why is there a silent “a” in diaper?

  • Shouldn't a diaper be a person who diaps things?

  • My brother is going through diapers faster than I am, hence he is wasting my inheritance with his incontinence!

And the list goes on and on.


You would think that with so many different things to be distressed about that the babies would have quite a diverse, if not colorful vocabulary to use in the expression of these heart wrenching and emotional issues. Or at least I would think that. It turns out that I'm wrong. Babies have one word to express their feelings on all of these topics:


That's it. Wah! And now I'm supposed to figure out how to sooth two babies who are pondering the quirkiness of the English language when I don't have any good reason for the odd spellings or pronunciations. I also need to somehow translate it into a string of Wah!s that can accurately convey to the children that English is a funny language and it takes time to learn, but we can take comfort in the fact that the rest of the world is ambitious enough to learn it as a second language making it possible for us to rather comfortably dominate global markets while being defiantly monolingual.


I've tried to explain this to them, but there seems to be something lost in the translation. Whatever I ended up saying must have been funny, because the babies just looked at me and gave me a sort of half smile, so maybe something got through. Either that or it was just gas... funny...

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Last Updated on Sunday, 21 December 2008 13:37
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